(open) kitten adoptions by squirrel

[squirrelyknight]

Date & Time: July 26th, all day
Location: The Housing Complex
Characters: Sir Codpiece & ...you!
Summary: Sir Codpiece has been granted a mission from the Wise Hag: to find homes for all the furry feline fiends he can in this city of Exsilium. Thus he comes a knocking.
Warnings: Ridiculousness.

( Codpiece manages to take two or three kittens along at a time, in twine harnesses he made himself while suffering the heat and hysteria of the jungle beaches. He keeps them in line through cajoling, tugging, herding, and bopping noses, sometimes even resorting to using his very limbs as entertainment.

His poor tail...!

And now he's made it to your door, where he lifts one gauntleted paw and knocks three times sharp, hoping to draw your attention. Should the door open, he leads in with a polite few words. )

Greetings, my lord, my lady. I have been sent on a quest of earnest importance across this dark and determined city. Pray tell, would you have room at your hearth for a feline pup gone chilled and crying for lack of warm mantels to sleep upon?

Comments

[squirrelyknight]

( Codpiece allows their leads to go full out, careful in how they unwind. He nods to Jack once he has some of his attention again: )

Much thanks, my lord. 'Tis frightfully saddening, but not a one of them has a home among them. I have tended to the lot in the aftermath of such times as the great shaking of the earth from wicked magicks falling from the sky, on the word of a good knight I met in the caverns below. They were with our hosts while we found ourselves on the hot sands, collecting stones. It is no fit life for any creature, to depend on that sort of charity.

[allucinator]

Mm. Sorry, is the knight's name Al? Only I think I've seen this kitten before.

[His mouth twitches as one of them begins mewing excitedly, her little tail whipping in the air as she gnaws on some roast beef.]

I'll . . . take one. I guess. I mean . . . yeah. I don't think the Lady would mind.

[squirrelyknight]

Rightly so! Al he is. You know of him? He is a good man, and a better knight. I dare say I know of no knight with a heart larger than his.

( Jack's relenting makes him a very happy squirrel. His tail twitches, his nose wiggling a mile a minute. )

By all means, if the Lady is amicable. I know one of these furry cretins is only in the best of hands with you, Lord Kelly!

[allucinator]

I-- yeah. I hope so. I mean, it's just a cat. I can do cats. I'm good at dogs, cats can't be so different.

[Carefully he reaches for the rightmost one, a little girl.]

Er-- can you think o' any names?

[squirrelyknight]

I suggest Nuisance. Prudence, if your sense of humor is such as to think any cat truly prudent, my lord.

( He softens his tone of voice. Getting these kittens into shape seemly enough to be presented to those he thought of as being good members of the world at large has made him have something like respect for their capabilities. )

Or Cassandra. She seems to be a dreamer - If cats were to dream, that is.

[allucinator]

I like Cassandra.

[He grins as she licks at his finger.]

Cassie. Yeah, Cassie-- you like that, darlin'?

[He glances up at Codpiece.]

You gotten any other people to take them?

[squirrelyknight]

The day is yet young.

( Which would be a no. )

One enterprising soul made an offer for the lot, for purposes not suited for polite company. He was quick to rescind his offer after proper educating.

( No one was eating Codpiece's kitten army. No one. )

[allucinator]

[He raises his eyebrows.]

Well, good. What the hell did he want them for!

[squirrelyknight]

You, you, to me!

( A quick tug on the leashes for the remaining kittens bring them to Codpiece's side with a lazy shake of their heads. He pulls their heads to his sides, pressing one paw protectively over their far ear. For some reason, they endure this for the moment. )

I believe... it was for dinner.

[allucinator]

Who the hell did it!

[He's indignant enough that Cassandra mews worriedly. Soothingly he rubs her behind her ears.]

Jesus, that's-- oh my god, that's awful!

[squirrelyknight]

( Codpiece pats both kittens on the head. )

Truly, it was a shock to my system as well. I caught not the true name of the knave, but his colors? Oh, but have I found those indeed!

[allucinator]

Yeah, well, I hope you broke his kneecap. Poor thin's--

With a frown he rubs at Cassandra's head once more.]

Jesus. Well, tell me if you need any help with them, okay? I can house them if you can't find a home for em tonight.

[squirrelyknight]

I aimed to hamstring. My success is perhaps... uncertain, but not for a lack of valiant effort.

( Not that the magicks of the doctors around here would be unable to fix such a condition.

He bows to Jack, deep and low. )

Lord Kelly is too gracious. Should we find ourselves lacking a hearth to keep us warm for the night, I fear I shall indeed impose upon your good will.

[allucinator]

Don't worry about it, all right? I'll go and get kitten food for this one, so. Er. What else do they need? I mean, food, and . . . a litter box? And a bed. She can't sleep with me. And some toys. Yeah?

[squirrelyknight]

( As the spartan kitten tamer, Codpiece merely listens and inclines his head forward in polite agreeance. )

All of which sounds like it would suit Cassie well. You have a knack for insight, my lord.

( He tugs on the other leashes, looking u at Jack. )

Until we next meet, Lord Kelly. Best of luck to you, and my eternal gratitude!

[allucinator]

Good luck, mate. Tell me if you need any help.