(open) kitten adoptions by squirrel

[squirrelyknight]

Date & Time: July 26th, all day
Location: The Housing Complex
Characters: Sir Codpiece & ...you!
Summary: Sir Codpiece has been granted a mission from the Wise Hag: to find homes for all the furry feline fiends he can in this city of Exsilium. Thus he comes a knocking.
Warnings: Ridiculousness.

( Codpiece manages to take two or three kittens along at a time, in twine harnesses he made himself while suffering the heat and hysteria of the jungle beaches. He keeps them in line through cajoling, tugging, herding, and bopping noses, sometimes even resorting to using his very limbs as entertainment.

His poor tail...!

And now he's made it to your door, where he lifts one gauntleted paw and knocks three times sharp, hoping to draw your attention. Should the door open, he leads in with a polite few words. )

Greetings, my lord, my lady. I have been sent on a quest of earnest importance across this dark and determined city. Pray tell, would you have room at your hearth for a feline pup gone chilled and crying for lack of warm mantels to sleep upon?

Comments

[allucinator]

. . . what?

[Jack peers down at the squirrel and kitten train before him. After a moment, he kneels, pinching at the ears of one of the kittens.]

I-- sorry, do you need food? Is that what you're askin'?

[squirrelyknight]

My Lord Kelly!

( Codpiece sounds pleased, though it's hard to say if his features show it. He is, above all things, a squirrel. )

A home for the starving, more like. ( Here he gestures to the tabby nearest to him, who focuses on his paw and stretches out his neck to sniff at the squirrel. ) It is a most grave duty that has been given to me. I must find them homes, and with what better people than the noble minded folk of this hall?

[notadamnvampire]

[Alucard just gawks because he is fairly certain he is hallucinating this shit. There is a loooong pause before he just spits out a very pointed:] What?!

[squirrelyknight]

A home, my lord. For a homeless kitten.

( He stands at proper attention, looking up at Alucard. The kittens flop over on their sides, one batting lazily at Codpiece's motionless tail. )

[5055034455]

[Saul has seen some weird shit during his stay in Exsilium so far, but this is so far out there that he's 99% sure he's either hallucinating or high or in dire need of an MRI or all three at once. There's no way in hell a talking squirrel just knocked on his door to ask him if he'd adopt a kitten.

Absolutely not.

No.

Go away.]

[squirrelyknight]

My lord? Have they your tongue already?

( He looks to the kittens, lifting a paw and shaking one claw at them all like they're naughty, misbehaving children. )

Let a man have his chance to speak before you crush the words right from him, beasts!

[2leftfeet]

[What can she say; after the flight of the ship went so well, Shepard's still high on good vibes even now. That said, answering a door to find no one there is still sort of annoying. Goddamn kids--]

Oh, uh. [--She lowers the line of her gaze. A lot. Alright so. That's a squirrel with a hoard of kittens. God, she needs to start getting more sleep.] Sorry, I don't think I caught that.

[squirrelyknight]

My lady, it is quite all right. I am merely the messenger, seeking to find warm homes for these young rodent killers.

( With marked stiffness, he pats one kitten on the head. It nips at his arm, and he quickly steps back and pulls his arm out of the way, slinging it over the kitten's neck. )

Ahahaha! Such fiestiness in all of them!

[gamora]

( yeah gamora? gamora's totally got this one in the bag. )

Do I look like a cat person?

( look when your team had a talking raccoon, a russian telepathic dog, and a tree, talking animals fail to register. a squirrel leading a bunch of kittens? absolutely not the weirdest thing she's ever seen. )

[squirrelyknight]

I would not make such a proposition, my lady. It would be nothing a knight could do in good faith!

( Though he observes no ears. )

SOME DAYS LATER i assume

[invocation]

[The bakery is slow today, and Kyouko is half-asleep at the counter when she hears the little knock on the door door. She's keeping shop for Madoka (in an admittedly half-assed way). At the knock, she calls out:]

It's open!

[A moment passes, and no one enters. Kyouko peels herself away from the counter to investigate.]

If you're playing a prank, I'm breaking your nose! Stupid punks... [Madoka would be proud. She's sounding more like a surly old shopkeeper every day.

Shortly thereafter, the door to the bakery flies open, and Kyouko glares out at...thin air. Slowly, her expression grows perplexed, and then she hears the tiny little announcement.

She glances down, which doesn't help at all with her confusion.

A squirrel. A talking squirrel...with kittens on leashes? A talking squirrel wearing armor...

After Kyuubey and the robot dog she'd met a few weeks ago, she'd thought she was past the point of being surprised by sentient animals, but this was completely out of her realm of experience.] What the— what is this?

[Had she gotten trapped in an anime or something?]

[squirrelyknight]

( The magical girl magical animal anime. The worst kind ever!

Codpiece stands at attention once the lady's attention is upon him. He presumes she is a lady; she sounds more like a princess than the majority of the princes he knew. )

An earnest attempt at finding homes for the homeless, my lady.

( He and the kittens look a little bedraggled. In the relative warmth, the two with him have settled by his sides, circling in close to him and each other, licking ears and paws and yawning tiredly. )

Though I fear this journey may have been too taxing on their small frames.

[lazyinlove]

"Huh?"

Oh. Hey. It's the squirrel dude again. With....kittens? What the-

"Dude those things eat mice."

[squirrelyknight]

"Verily," he said, tugging on a leash. The kitten in the harness turned to look at him and yawned, plopping her behind on the ground. "I hear it is one recommendation for their species among the farmers and merchants. Have you a mouse problem, my lord?"

[moralperil]

[Mahdi is busily cleaning, his hair tied back in a bright pink bandanna. While he cleans, he's keeping himself company with a song. There's a certain logic to it, the sort of thing some people would make fun of him for, but it really does cheer him up and make the time go faster.]

There's someone I'm longing to see, I hope that he turns out to be, someone who'll watch over me...

[His mop-microphone time is interrupted by three sharp knocks on the door, and he quickly sets the mop against a wall and sashays to the door.]

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood, I know I could always be good, for one who'll watch...

[He has to tippy-toe to get to the peep-hole... and is quite surprised!]

Over me!

[Astounded by the sight of a bevy of cute, fuzzy animals, Mahdi quickly opens the door, dropping to a crouch.]

Kittens! And a... a... tree-mouse? Hello!

[squirrelyknight]

Squirrel, my lord. Red squirrel.

( He stands sharply at attention, taking note that this lord was so kind as to come down to his level. )

I am on a mission to find homes for these very creatures you see before you. A wise old hag informed me as to the wisdom of such an effort, and it is on her word that I have come to your door now.

[needsteaplz]

[Saori looked around at first before looking down at the squirrel. Oh yes, she remembered him. At the sound of kittens, her own orange tabby kitten came to the door. She picked up hers just in case he had any ideas to use the guest as a toy.]

Oh my. The poor things. I'm afraid my apartment has its hands full with this one. If he was a bit older, my roommates would be okay with adopting another one.

Maybe if you need help watching over the kittens during the day, they can stay in my shop where it's warm.

[squirrelyknight]

My lady!

( He bows, keeping his kittens in line. The stalked around him, sniffing and arching their backs at startling scents or sounds. )

Where might this shop be, if we were to find it opportune to take you up on your most kind, humbling offer?

[lambofcolumbia]

[Elizabeth didn't actually live in the apartment complex yet (though they'd promised she would be allowed as soon as space opened) but she was still curious about it, which was why the victorian woman was making her way down one of the hallways, a small smile on her face as she peered at the doors. It was all a bit boring, but it had to be nicer than the curtained-off cot they had given her so far. At least there'd be somewhere to keep her clothes!]

[She stops dead though when she sees the Squirrel and his collection of cats coming around the corner at the end of the hall, her eyes wide. What in heavens...]

[squirrelyknight]

( Codpiece corrals his cats into a stop, herding them to the side of the hall to grant the lady ample passing room. )

Good eve, my lady!

( He calls out right cheerfully, muscling the kittens into a semblance of awkward, lanky, playful order. )

[jailbreaks]

[It's... a talking squirrel.

Yuri just can't help but squat down and investigate it because what kind of animal speaks? Then again, this world is always full of surprises. But a cat? It's almost tempting because he misses having an animal companion, but cats aren't the same as dogs.

Still...

He kind of misses that kind of companionship. And there's nothing wrong with cats at all. However it still leads to the question.]

Just cats? Or are there any dogs?

[squirrelyknight]

Alas, my quest concerns merely the feline, my lord.

( Dogs were as bad, if not worse for exuberance. Though dogs made for a quicker kill than any feline. Blessed for that, but a cursed nuisance to deal with. )

Canines are a rare breed of animal indeed in this city. I myself have encountered but a handful, and none of the breeds that I recognize most readily.

( One kitten toddles closer, mewling and intent on finding a pant leg. )

Asbel will be joining in on this thread too!

[blossomgale]

[ When Sophie opens the door, she finds herself looking straight at nothing for a moment. But upon hearing the voice, it leads her gaze to look down at the squirrel and the kittens. Oh. Uh. What did he just say? She's not sure... ]

Wow, you're all really cute.

[ That's all she can think about. She leans back into the apartment, calling out for Asbel. She had been visiting today and volunteered to be the one to answer the door. ]

Asbel? Were you expecting someone else today?

o7

[pactfulfilled]

No. Not that I know of...

[The answer comes from further inside the apartment, but it isn't long before curiosity's got the better of him. Asbel abandons whatever he's been doing (trying his hand at cooking again, if the rolled-up sleeves are any indication) to join his daughter at the door. He pokes his head out, not noticing their visitor at first, either.]

Who is it, Sophie?

[fe_male]

[ .......o... k.........ay. Sure.

Honestly, on the list of Weird Shit Seen Not Home it's not even in the first handful, but still. Door-to-door salesmanship was something he rather thought he'd escaped. Not that anyone ever tried it on his homes when he was growing up either. }

Feline pup? If you didn't make a catdog I'm going to start losing interest, Dodger.

[squirrelyknight]

They're almost as well trained as a young pup, so after a fashion, my lord, they are indeed a sort of catdog.

( The squirrel seems serious.

As he tells the kittens to heel, and they listen, after an ear flick. )

AM I TOO LATE

[breakin_ur_lore]

Are you a squirrel wearing plate mail? [Sorry, hope you weren't looking for intelligent conversation.]

Never!

[squirrelyknight]

( Codpiece looks up at the one asking him such a question and says, in his most solemn voice: )

That I am, my lord. That I am, as a knight of the realm of Wizard Ralph.

[bumbles]

( After wandering into the apartment complex, there are three places he is likely to go and they are all on the first floor: Crystal's place, Morgana's place, or Stephanie's place.

In this instance it's lucky number three, and Steph's just making some hot chocolate when he opens the door. Manners, habits, he figures maybe her roommate forgot their keys or something, because he doesn't know just how good her roommates are at breaking and entering. He hadn't really thought about how low down the knock sounded.

He's sort of six feet plus change and looming, fascinated, when his gaze finally drops to the floor. Almost immediately, he's crouching down.

It's a talking squirrel. It's a squirrel who talks. This is awesome. And it has kittens. This is super, super awesome. )

Uh, hey. ( A beat. ) You're-- your g-giving them away?

[squirrelyknight]

( Codpiece does not flinch away from the relative giant: most humans are such looming figures, even if their heads aren't lost in the clouds.

Were there any to be seen. )

Yes, my lord. I seek new home and refuge for these innocents you see before you. Have you an interest in their plight? I can see from one glance alone that your gallantry and heart are much greater than even your height alone.