exsiliumlogs | At The Place I'll Return to Someday [Closed]

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At The Place I'll Return to Someday [Closed]

Date & Time: August 7th
Location: 1888 Japan
Characters: Kido & Kano
Summary: Mission here a.k.a. frolic around Japan, steal some dogs, spend time together, w/e
Warnings: THEY NEED TO HAVE EMOTIONAL TALKS AT SOME POINT

[It started with a text. Want to go somewhere? Let's go to Japan. Come on, you and me. Was she homesick? Did she just want to get out? Maybe she wanted to prove she could do this again; leading, fighting, being someone stronger. She'd had enough rest.

But it wasn't just that. She texted him for a reason. They were on the verge of...something. Just in the distance, she could see some sort of change waiting. There was a different future if she could grab his hand and drag him forward with her.

He agreed. Maybe he wanted to get away with her, too?

Kido changed into the clothes given - thankfully they let her take male ones - and pocketed their spending money. She listened to everything in their briefing, already focusing on the mission. They could easily hit up a few of those targets between their combined abilities. If they got done fast enough, they could enjoy themselves a little, too...

She walked down the streets that weren't familiar but closer to home than anything they had been given so far and thought out loud to Kano.]

This shouldn't be too bad. I can steal the artwork from the one member... we can probably both take the dogs from the other... Just get the one drunk and encourage the daughter to go out on her own...

[A beat.] We'd have to go with her though. I'm not letting her run off and get kidnapped or something...

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That silence dragged too long. She knows between that and his babbling what he's avoiding but can she really force him out just through words?

She could ask who he loves. But there would still be a few people. And she doesn't know if she can say it when just the thought makes her dizzy. It's too embarrassing.

"Kano, you know what I meant!" Kido frowns and shifts her hand to place it over his again. "Tell me. Do you want to confess to someone? Who is it? Tell me, damn it."

"I like almost everyone I meet." And there he goes, talking on and on as if he didn't even hear her. But he turns his hand to grab hers, daring to give a brief smile. If he acted confident, maybe he will believe he knows what he's doing.

"... that's right, that's right. But, I think, when it comes to you... I don't like you."

His heart's racing by now. He can feel that he's standing on the edge of something that, if he took a step forward, he wouldn't be able to step back and out of it. He's tried to keep her away and apart all this time because it was for her own good-- ah, no. That wasn't it at all, was it? It was because he was selfish, and he didn't want anything outside of that unconditional, unchanging infatuation.

"I don't like you at all."

"Wha... What?" Her voice sounds so small. Not at all? He doesn't like her... at all? Kido grips his hand despite the numb pain draining through her body. If she doesn't hold on, she'll fall right over in shock.

"What do you mean? What do you mean you don't like me at all?! Not even- not even as friends? Or family?! You don't...?! You... Kano..."

Kido opens and closes her mouth, unable to put words to this spinning world around her.

"That's not how I feel." He continues calmly, as if he hasn't said anything out of the ordinary. Her reaction hurts. That's to be expected. But his mind's made up.

He can't turn back now.

"That's not how I feel at all." Kano closes his eyes, dropping his mask. "So... asking if I 'like' you... that word isn't the right one at all. That isn't an exact match."

Is he really saying that? It feels like a rejection but those words lead her somewhere else. Assuming might hurt but it can't hurt anymore than the rest of this does, right?

Kido swallows and glances down, unable to look at him. Just say it. Just suggest it. Nothing can hurt more. He'll have to answer if she does.

(She's scared. She can't breathe.)

"Do-" She can barely hear herself and tries to speak louder, so that he can't pretend he doesn't hear her. "...Do you... ah, that is... what about 'love'?"

"Do you think it is?" That crushing feeling in his chest is growing and growing. If he takes too long, he won't be able to speak at all and he'll hide behind lies again.

"... hey, hey. What's Kido acting so nervous for? Does she think I'm going to say no?"

"What am I supposed to think when you just keep turning them into questions?!" She feels like he's spun her around in so many circles that she can't see straight. That pounding in her ears won't stop, either.

How red must her face be...?

"I-I don't know what to think at all. That's why I'm asking you to just...please..."

"Kido said she believed in me. She really should and not worry over things like this. Ah, if I ran off and said I hated you after everything, would you believe me?"

His eyes open again, and, as gently as he could, he touches her mouth lightly with a finger. It feels so strange to make himself smile without the aid of his eyes. But he wants her to be able to see what he feels on his face, just as he can see the emotions on hers.

"If I did something like... let's see... if I kissed you... would that make it clearer?"

That spinning doesn't stop but it changes direction. Oh. Oh. That smile looks beautiful right now, because it doesn't have the same crafted appearance as everything else. It looks normal.

Warmth spreads around her heart and she can't help a laugh. "Why are you asking me? Just kiss me, idiot."

"That's not romantic at all. You're terrible at seduction." Even as he says it, his hands tremble a bit. The heat between their grips feel a little wet with sweat. That laugh is so pleasant, that look on her face-- he wish he could capture it in a photograph right now.

He takes away his finger and leans in.

Her mouth feels warm and her lips are soft. He doesn't know how this works so he keeps his mouth closed as he presses against her, breathing slowly. His thoughts are racing too fast, but they've flattened into something simpler. This is fine. It's okay to do this. The fingers wrapping around his aren't a rejection and he laughs a little when he pulls back.

It was so easy. Is this what he'd been afraid of all this time? Already he wants another--it's as if he's finally sipped water after forcing himself to wander parched. Would it be greedy to ask her to do it again so soon? He doesn't want to talk anymore. He doesn't want to think, or to allow himself the time to chase himself into another corner. He wants to concentrate on how warm her hands are, how pleasant her breath feels against his skin.

Maybe he doesn't deserve any of this. Maybe, in the end, this won't work out.

But... he'll do his best to hold onto it while he still could.

"... Kido's cute like this. We should do this more often."

He did it. He really did it.

She thought about kissing him sometimes. More often lately, ever since she realised her feelings, felt them burrow into her heart and take root in her veins, until every heartbeat held some drop of hope. She couldn't stop thinking about him once she let herself start. It was so pathetic, like a helpless teenage girl, but whenever her thoughts wandered, she let herself imagine them might kiss one day.

Kano is kissing her right now and she doesn't know how to kiss back. She just presses her lips back against his and tries to calm her heart. It beats fast, rushing heat to her cheeks, and she shuts her eyes as she focuses on the warmth of his mouth.

She can still smell the flowers and the grass but now she notices the scent of Kano's skin, the soap he uses and the fabric of his clothes. Kido swallows and presses another, light kiss to his mouth as a little indulgence.

"More often...? Yeah, I could get used to that." With her free hand, she reaches up and-

-flicks him in head.

"Oi, if you give me something concrete word wise, though, I'll give you another kiss right now."

He blinks in surprise, but the smile comes back. He grabs her hand, so that he's holding onto both of them now, and rests his chin on them. "Concrete? What does Kido want me to do? Should I be complimenting everything about her? I get it, I get it, you want me to whip up a poem for you right here and now!"

He looks cute like that. It irritates her.

"I don't want a poem by you! It would probably be ridiculous." Even though she says that, she doesn't doubt she'll start seeing stupid poetry in her inbox. Well, she isn't going to mind it. "I told you, right? You have to ask me. You can do that much, can't you?"

"I thought we were already on a date." He says it without hesitation, smile widening into a grin. "That's why you dressed up, right?"

"I-I dressed up because I lost the bet!" Her cheeks turn a shade redder. It can't be that obvious. It really can't be. "Anyway! Come on, just ask me already! Make it official, idiot!"

"But Leader could've dismissed it! Ah, no, you're not the type to back down from bets, I know that." Kano deliberately ignores her, opting to lean in instead. He wants to get a better look at her blushing face.

"But if I asked you out on a date, that'd mean I'd have somewhere in mind for us to go, wouldn't it? I don't have the faintest idea where I could take you."

Kido stands - sits? - her ground despite his face getting closer again. Having him so near does nothing to help calm her and he's still being obtuse. She has to do everything, huh?

She switches the way their hands are held, holding his instead of the other way around. In a kimono like this, she can't move as fast or freely as she usually can, but she moves into his lap and shoves her weight down on him to pin him into the grass. Hands still held tight against his chest, he has no room to move away.

Leaning over him, some of her hair falls around his face. "You idiot. You know what I mean. I told you, we can't date unless you ask me. So just ask me already!"

Wait what was--??

Before Kano can react, he finds himself pinned on the ground, Kido's hair tickling the sides of his face. By instinct, his eyes turn on as his face heats up, but he doesn't let go or try to push her off. He knows she's stronger than him, anyway.

"But Kido's already asked me out! Haven't the rules been broken already?!"

"Don't be stupid." This is the only thing she refuses to budge on. He can get away with no really confessing to her outright or any of the other vague ways he answers things. After all, she promised to listen to the meaning behind those whimsical questions. But this is just one thing, the only thing, she won't let him be vague with.

"Just ask me out. Ask me to be your girlfriend. Tch, come on, come on..."

"If I do, will you let me go? You're crushing my lungs, you know. And I think I might sneeze with your hair in my face." Even as he jokes, though, he doesn't want her to get off. Having her on top of him is actually pretty nice. He squeezes her hands.

"Fine, fine. Kido, go out with me, or I'll cry."

"I already saw you cry." Kido smiles, heart beating faster. Even with a joke to pad it, even if she had to pin him like this, he said it. Her only condition for his honesty, the one thing she asked him to do months ago.

She closes the distance to kiss him again, still light and unsure but he asked her. It's hard to keep a smile off her face now.

"Well... All right. I'll be your girlfriend."

Girlfriend. It's a title he didn't think he'd get to call her, but here she is, accepting it.

A sudden joy bursts in his chest and he yanks her down so he can kiss her again, moving his lips slightly so he can taste her mouth better. So, this is how letting yourself fall in love feels like. He doesn't want it to end.

Kido makes a soft, surprised sound against his mouth but settles fast enough. He really does 'like' her, huh? To be so eager to kiss her and be close to her; hell, even his complaints earlier to get off him seem forgotten.

She tries to mimic the way his mouth moves, fumbling through it before it starts to feel natural. This whole thing feels surprisingly normal. Though her heart might be racing, that fluttering in her stomach has become pleasant instead of some strange torture.

When the kiss breaks, Kido rests her forehead against his and smiles. "You're happy, right?"

After keeping his distance for so long, being permitted to stay so close to her is more than welcome. The complicated feelings he felt before have faded to the back of his mind, forgotten for now. All he can think about is how brightly she shines with that smile, how warm her skin feels against his. His heart's still beating fast, but the cause has changed.

"I look happy, don't I? Of course I am."

"Yeah. I like your smile right now." She doesn't want to let go of his hands, so she presses a soft kiss to his lips in appreciation. "I guess now if I say something like, 'You have a really nice smile' it would be normal, huh?"

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