At The Place I'll Return to Someday [Closed]

[concealingeyes]

Date & Time: August 7th
Location: 1888 Japan
Characters: Kido & Kano
Summary: Mission here a.k.a. frolic around Japan, steal some dogs, spend time together, w/e
Warnings: THEY NEED TO HAVE EMOTIONAL TALKS AT SOME POINT




[It started with a text. Want to go somewhere? Let's go to Japan. Come on, you and me. Was she homesick? Did she just want to get out? Maybe she wanted to prove she could do this again; leading, fighting, being someone stronger. She'd had enough rest.

But it wasn't just that. She texted him for a reason. They were on the verge of...something. Just in the distance, she could see some sort of change waiting. There was a different future if she could grab his hand and drag him forward with her.

He agreed. Maybe he wanted to get away with her, too?

Kido changed into the clothes given - thankfully they let her take male ones - and pocketed their spending money. She listened to everything in their briefing, already focusing on the mission. They could easily hit up a few of those targets between their combined abilities. If they got done fast enough, they could enjoy themselves a little, too...

She walked down the streets that weren't familiar but closer to home than anything they had been given so far and thought out loud to Kano.]

This shouldn't be too bad. I can steal the artwork from the one member... we can probably both take the dogs from the other... Just get the one drunk and encourage the daughter to go out on her own...

[A beat.] We'd have to go with her though. I'm not letting her run off and get kidnapped or something...

Comments

[duplicitoussight]

[They've talked about going on missions before, but they've never actually acted upon the thought until now. The lingering, bitter aftermath of that failed mission mission still hung like smoke in their minds. Agreeing to go on another mission...

Well, it's not like this one's a particularly dangerous one. And they couldn't let that one mission prevent them from carrying out other ones. Kano could tell, too, there was something she wanted to prod at. He would've normally refused, but that would've been cruel of him. A mission like this would help Kido in regaining her confidence. And, even after everything, she chose him to come along with her.

Fine. He'll go, then. He was homesick as well, anyway.

Their mission was simple for them. Breaking in and stealing things were a cinch for their combined abilities and something they've had practice with.]

Ah, if that's the case, I'll get that guy drunk! That sounds like the most fun. Unless Kido would like to try charming him into downing those extra glasses?

[concealingeyes]

No way. That can be yours. I'll take the artwork. We can do the dog and kid sections together.

[It felt nice to be a leader again. Even though Jade was probably right, that she needed more rest and downtime, she couldn't afford it. The others needed her too much. Or maybe that was her own sense of self-importance talking.

But, she didn't want to vanish from their lives by sleeping away her days. She wanted to keep this role. Kido rubbed the back of her head.]

All right. Let's do our individual missions first and then take the kid out. Hiding the dogs is going to be a pain so we should save that for last. As for the girl... I can conceal her if it gets dangerous and you can always impersonate a guard. Think that'll work out?

[duplicitoussight]

It's no problem, no problem at all. I'll get mine done in no time! You won't have to worry at all. [Folding his hands behind his head, he grins. A mission is still a mission. But it feels like a pleasant continuation of their beach mission not too long ago. Once they get work out of the way, maybe they'll have time to spend together.

--ah, not that he has anything planned.] Will we be splitting up from here?

[concealingeyes]

Mm, yeah. Might as well get to work. [She pauses. They're on a mission but she can't help remembering the way they sat on the beach together. Kido looks at him, lost in thought for a moment, before nodding.]

If we're both done before it's too late, we can grab some dinner. I can't really cook from a hotel room so...

[duplicitoussight]

[He acts as though he doesn't notice the look, peering around instead at their surroundings. When she mentions dinner, however, he looks back over to her.]

Oh! Does this mean we're going out to eat tonight?

[concealingeyes]

[She gives him a thumbs up.] If we both have a successful mission, then you can even pick what we eat.

[duplicitoussight]

That's surprisingly generous of you! In that case, I'll try to pick the classiest restaurant for the both of us.

[concealingeyes]

A classy restaurant, huh...? Then you better get going. [She smiles at him and hesitates a moment before turning away, waving behind her.] Return to the hotel when you're done.

[duplicitoussight]

[He beams back, waving a hand in return even if she can't see it.] Roger that, Leader!

[It honestly isn't a tough job. Disguising himself as a fellow council member, inviting the other for a drink. Kano doesn't take any himself since there's still the rest of the mission to finish, but he makes sure by that night the other man was a little more than tipsy. After making sure he gets back with a generous crate of beer (illegally acquired, no need to ask how) he makes his way back to the hotel,taking a short detour on the way. He was bragging when he said he'd find the classiest restaurant, but at the very least he wants to find a decent one for them to eat at.

He sits in the lobby, leaning against a pillar as he scans the few guests moving in and out.]

[duplicitoussight]

[Kano doesn't expect Kido to fulfill her promise right away after dinner. It's just as fun to wait and see if she'll really do it or not--knowing her, she probably wanted to take a while to choose. So he remains surprisingly quiet on the subject, though he still prods and teases her about everything else.

He isn't sure what's been going on. There's been a tight feeling in his chest since last night, something he can't quite pinpoint. No, that's a lie right there. He recognizes it. Whether he wants to recognize it is a different matter. It's the same squeeze he felt when he saw Jade or talked to Erika, an unpleasant sensation he doesn't want to attribute to Kido.

It's ridiculous to be afraid of her. For there was nothing to be afraid of.

(I want to be noticed, but please don't notice me yet. I'm not ready. Let me lie a little longer.)

Their next target was the daughter. Luring her out wasn't a tough task and the day spent together was fun. Making friends with her is a little sad, seeing how they won't be able to see her again once these two weeks were over.

The house was deathly quiet. As Kano gently closed the door to the girl's door, he glances over at Kido.]

... she's sound asleep.

[concealingeyes]

Should we wake her up and sneak her out now?

[Kido leans against the wall, eyes green for now. There doesn't seem to be anyone around. This mission is...a little different. They both understand a child's desires too well. That girl must be lonely. They can't stay with her but...]

...Oi, Kano. We'll make sure she has fun.

[duplicitoussight]

[It must be difficult being the only daughter to a council member. The poor girl was already burdened with so many responsibilities when a kid should focus on enjoying themselves.]

Yeah. That'll be the goal of this mission. [He curls his hand on the doorframe again.] Let's--

[A creak sounds that makes Kano look over in alarm. Footsteps, and they were drawing closer. Kano lets go of the door, already backing away.] Hey, Kido...

[concealingeyes]

Shit. [There isn't much time. Even if she conceals them, they can't easily make their way to an exit right now. It leaves the option she's best at, right? Hide.

Kido grabs Kano's wrist and drags him forward. A closet at the end of the hallway is perfect. It also means they're trapped but for now their goal is avoid being discovered.

She slides it open enough to shove Kano inside and follows after, shutting it behind her. Her eyes practically glow in the dark. She'll keep them both hidden so even if the closet opens, it'll just be a bunch of sheets and bedding.

Actually, it's a little cramped, so Kido ducks down and holds her breath, waiting for the footsteps to pass.

And then they can...

...Can what?]

[duplicitoussight]

[He follows her without any hesitation, almost jogging to reach the closet. At the actual threshold of that small pocket of darkness, though, he pauses but he doesn't have the chance to think as Kido pushes him in.

It's cramped and it's dark, and their breathing sounds too noisy so he holds his breath, too. His mouth is dry. If he closes his eyes he can't see the red glow of Kido's, proof that someone else was here too, so he keeps them open.

The closet door slides open halfway and Kano tenses--

(--sorry, sorry, i wasn't trying to hide...!)

--but Kido's eyes do their job. The door shuts again, leaving them back in darkness.

But the footsteps don't fade. They stop nearby.

Once the adrenaline wears off, Kano realizes how uncomfortable it really is inside. His back is pressing against a bucket and the interior smells musty. Without much thought he leans more against Kido's side, trying to keep his breathing light.]

[concealingeyes]

[Even though Kido feels nervous, too, she recognises that Kano's tension came from a different place. It isn't just that her eyes can hide them, though he knows that. He knows he has no reason to be afraid.

Kido never felt afraid of being found, not really. Because no one wanted to look for her. When they did, it was only because they had to. It was bad enough that she existed; they couldn't afford to lose her and prove their neglect, right?

She reaches down and puts a hand over his. As long as their here, she'll keep her eyes red. They'll stay safe. Even if she can't protect him from what he's afraid of right now...]

...You're safe, Kano.

[The words come out before she can stop them. It's stupid. She's only thinking about this because of that kid. All this nostalgia...isn't really that nice at all.]

...I mean, my eyes will hide us, so...

[It's a late cover, said too many moments after to hide the real meaning. But she leans back against him, resting on some bedding and sighs. It's the best she can do for him.]

[duplicitoussight]

... I'm fine.

[Kano says it nonchalantly, as though they've decided to stop and rest at a park bench instead of hiding in this cramped closet. He is a little scared right now, but anybody would be startled at almost being caught. That's all it is. But he won't deny that her hand on his is a comforting touch.

Even though he wants to close his eyes, he doesn't at the same time. He can hear his heartbeat too clearly that way, making it harder to lie.]

Ah, do you think he's still out there?

[concealingeyes]

I don't know. He might be watching over her so she doesn't sneak out. The footsteps didn't sound like they went that far...

[Even if they did, they now have proof that someone is patrolling. And these narrow hallways aren't the best for Kido's ability to work in. If they got cornered...]

we'll wait awhile. Might as well get comfortable.

[concealingeyes]

The view was perfect. Even Kido could appreciate it, her mood still a little gloomy from losing the bet. Well, she didn't actually mind that much. He seemed happy about it.

Sitting on a gentle sloop by the water, faded pink petals scattering the ground and paper lanterns being lit all around. Stalls and booths stood in temporary rows and the smell of food and flowers mingled for a nice, festive air. Just like the festivals in the future, this one still revolved more around the food and drink than the spirit of it. She couldn't complain when she had a bag of candies at her side.

But somehow, despite the carefree chatter around her, her eyes stayed on the trees. All sorts of books and movies always talked about the importance of this. It represented the brevity of life and the way things passed. She remembered someone once saying even if people forgot, sometimes it was good to think about the time you have left.

It used to sound kind of funny. After all, she burned that day, years ago, but here she sat now as alive as anyone else around her. And not too long ago, she felt a different burning pain that took her away again. She disappeared twice now and yet...

And yet.

Kido realised now that, as long as those machines of theirs worked, she wouldn't die. And likewise, maybe back home even, something was keeping her from dying. Just some monster who kept getting back up, still scared of that moment when everything turned black.

So, in a way, there was no rush. She didn't have to worry about anything. Just thinking it made her snort. It was the opposite. Those flowers would bloom again next spring. But it still mattered when they were gone. Time still mattered. Waiting forever for him...

When had she decided that? When he promised to protect her when they were young? When he kept dragging her out into the world despite her protests? When he stayed by her side even as she yelled at him and pushed him around? When did she decide she wanted to stay with him always?

She hadn't. It hadn't crossed her mind that they might be separated. He flirted with other girls so much and it put her in a rotten mood but those days seemed infinite, never-changing, just a fun routine to take for granted. She took him for granted. A pressure pushed down on her heart. It wasn't like he was the only one to blame for their situation. If she had noticed her own feelings, thought about his more, then...

Even now, he was looking out for her. If she spoke again, would he listen? Would he tell her what he feels? Please don't hide it behind another smile. Even if things don't seem to change, little by little, they will. And one day, they might not be together anymore. That family they clung to could change. They knew that. It kept happening.

She wouldn't take these days for granted. She didn't have that luxury anymore. If she could reach him, then maybe...

They've progressed. She felt certain of it. They've made it somewhere. But she doesn't know where. For now, they can pretend nothing has changed but she can feel it, felt it in his tears and the way he held her when she started to fall asleep, all the time they spent curled up with one another and yes, with certainty, his feelings for her must have changed. But into...?

Kido took a breath and hunched over her knees, kimono drawing up around her. Breaking those neverending days would only take a question.

"Have you decided... how you feel about me?"

[duplicitoussight]

As Kido watched the trees, Kano watched the reflections on the water. There was a light wind tonight, stirring the otherwise smooth surface with ripples, distorting the world wavering upon its surface. His eyes, however, weren't focused on his reflection. Behind his mask his red gaze fixed on Kido's image, watching it dance. He hadn't thought that she'd take the bet seriously and dress up. But she took his joke earnestly and donned a kimono for him. Even though he'd been the one to bring up the idea, he finds that he can't look at her directly.

--no, not can't. He won't let himself. He's afraid to, least he falls deeper into the hole he failed to see. There's already been so many missteps, each one leading him down to the answer he's tried to avoid. If he admires her brightness, he doesn't think he can close his eyes to it anymore.

Because of that, his eyes stayed on her reflection. When she asked her question, he looked up with his mask, not his face.

"I don't understand the question." It sounded like a cheerful response, layered with just the right amount of cockiness to disguise it a tease. But he understood.

When she posed the question to him on the night of his birthday Kano already had an answer lodged in his throat. It wouldn't leave because of his cowardice, so he painfully swallowed and tried to hide the fact that he was choking with his usual flashy lies. Even now, after he swore that he would beat his chest and clear his throat of deception, the truth was still stuck.

They've always been together after their eyes had been dyed in red. It was a natural state, as common as birds nesting in trees or fish swimming in a river. He'd been drawn to help her, like a moth to a flame, and still held her hand tightly even as she lashed out at him. He never gave the reasoning much thought--it'd simply been a natural thing to do. It felt right to be by her side. So he stayed.

Which was why it hurt so much when she was torn away. He lost a friend. He lost a member of his family. He lost Kido, and their promise, and the unnaturalness of being alone clamped down on him, booting him into a lost state. Nobody else in their family had been here--she'd been the only one to come, and remembering how he couldn't save his mother or his sister--

Ah. He was a helpless son, a useless brother and a terrible friend in the end. It made him smile. He'd be even more worthless as a partner. A snake like him could protect her decently. But by the same token he knew how he coiled around her hurt her. Despite the night they spent together in that closet, how he had let his mask crack in front of her... if it came down to what was best for both of them...

"I think Kido makes a good leader. That's what you're asking about, right?"

[concealingeyes]

Still avoiding it, huh? Even after that night opening his heart to her, he still won't rely on her. It's all she asked, to be his knight, to be there for him, and he won't give her that much...

"Idiot."

Kido looked back at the water with a frown, eyes shut lightly. The whole point had been to wait for him. Wait for him to decide, or to confess, or to turn her down, whatever the answer was, just give her the truth. Say it just this once. Her fingers curled over her leg.

This was her one selfishness. The rest of this mission had been about finding out what was wrong with him. This, though, this remained purely for her own foolish heart.

In her head, she kept repeating the same words. If it's no, then say it. If it's yes, then say that. Just tell her. Ending those endless days isn't so scary! But she couldn't shout it outside of her mind.

Coward. They both were. If she kept going like this, though, she might start to hide again. It would be too easy to let him win and ignore the pain twisting around her heart.

She took a breath.

"Look, if you don't feel that way about me, that's fine." Saying those words took more than she thought it would. She wouldn't let him know it, though, pushing on after a moment. "If you do or don't, just tell me. Why are you so scared? I'm not going to hit you or avoid you if you say no."

She sighed and tucked some hair back behind her ear. "...It's too late for me to take it back so you can't ignore it. Don't pretend I didn't tell you."

[duplicitoussight]

It's difficult to maneuver the conversation away from the topic when she's so upfront and blunt about it. But that's the way Kido is. She'd never been the type to dance around her words, unlike him. When he tried to hide his wounds, she grabbed him by the arm to try to take care of them.

Even after making her wait all this time, he doesn't have an answer-- no, that's a lie. He's always had his answer. It's a 'yes.' It hurts to withhold it, because he wants to exclaim it as loudly as he can. He knows that's what she wants to hear. If he can acknowledge it, they'll surely, definitely be happy.

... he said to her a while ago that there was a difference between what made a person happy and what a person thought would make them happy. He can't tell her, but he's been afraid that these feelings were nothing more than a shallow well--a crush he's indulging in too much and would soon draw dry. If these feelings weren't true, what would she be left with?

'I feel that way about you.' Say it. If he could break in front of her and remain safe in her arms, wasn't that a sign for him to do so?

He watched the troubled expression on her face in the water. "... I'm not scared of confessing. It's pretty simple, isn't it?"

[concealingeyes]

If it's so simple, why don't you say something? she thought. But then, that sounded like some roundabout rejection. It just eliminates 'yes' when he puts it that way. Kido shut her eyes. What the hell did he mean? Why did she have to guess?

It was the same as that night. Kido, trying to open up, tell him her honest feelings as best as she could, and Kano dodging around it, pushing away. Maybe... she made a mistake.

But no, she couldn't have. For every time he pushed her away with callous words, he also clung to her and gave her hope. Those mixed messages are the problem here. If she could just find the truth between them...

Kido tried not to let any of her fears show through. She kept her eyes on the water. What did she have to lose by just saying more?

His friendship? Would he leave her completely? No way. That sounded too ridiculous, didn't it...?

"Nothing is ever simple with you." The bitter edge couldn't be cut away completely. "It's not like I would blame you for turning me down. I never really put enough thought into you, did I? I've tried to make up for it but... if it's too little, too late..."

Even then, she would still be his 'knight'.

[duplicitoussight]

It's the answer he should support. Find someone better. Pick Seto, when we get back. Pick that boy who runs the bakery. Pick a stranger. Don't pick me. Even if that's the opposite of what he wants, it's the choice he should choose. In the end, this might be a passing infatuation sprung from spending months with only each other for comfort. Someone like him who makes her so angry everyday--

("You already make me happy everyday. Are you really that stupid that you haven't noticed it?")

--doesn't deserve her, doesn't deserve to be protected or saved by her. Heroes and knights slew monsters. He wasn't meant to be loved so openly.

But her words cut in a way he can't deny, more than her punches or kicks. Let it pass like this. It'll hurt less for both of them this way. Let her take the lie he's presenting her as the truth, because the truth is... even if it hurts...

"I don't remember turning you down." The words pop out before he can stop them, squeezed out by a strange pain in his chest. "I don't think I said anything like that."

[concealingeyes]

They're going in circles again and she slams her fist into the ground, mouth going dry.

"Then what the hell are you saying?! Why can't you just say it?!" She doesn't want to shout at him or hear her own voice shake. That harsh prickling in the back of her eyes must be from frustration. That's all it is, it's not...

What does he mean? Even now she still can't figure it out? Ten years and months of getting closer, spending so much time together and actually trying to understand him and she still-

That... it was me being an idiot, as usual. In other words, they shouldn't be taken seriously.

What should she think? She spins it in circles even as her mouth opens again.

"I- I want to believe you! No, I do believe you. I said I believe in you, right? I do!" This is stupid. He won't say it now, will he? Despite what progress they made, she probably overestimated it.

But even if he turns her down, it won't make this feeling go away. Every beat of her heart hurts, sends that pain trickling down every vein, and every throb made her vision sway. Her fingers curl into the grass. "Damn it, Kano! Stop pushing me away! Just...say what you mean for once... Just give me that much!"

[duplicitoussight]

He can't help the flinch that jerks his body, that slight burst of adrenaline that shoots through him. He remembers that gesture (it was often repeated against a table or a wall whenever he was caught doing something wrong) and knows instantly that he's said the wrong thing. His instinct tells him to apologize. He needs to apologize and take the punishment for messing up.

--but didn't she tell him that there was no need to? No matter how he tries to hide, she'll find him. Those were the promises she made to him. And she's shouting, now, that she believes in him, even as he's ducking back and hiding.

Though the water ripples, he can see the tears in her eyes. He's fine if she hits him. He's fine if she calls him an idiot, or garbage, or any of those things. Those are the ways she tries to protect herself and cement her image as someone beyond that fragile girl she used to be. But he can't stand that pained honesty. Those glistening eyes...

She does so much for him already. Dressing up though he knows she hates it, moving in with him at his insistence, daring to open her heart to him only to have him stab it...

"--I'm sorry." His mask smiles, even as he bites the bottom of his lip. What is he apologizing for? His lies? His mistake earlier? He doesn't know. But he hopes that she can read him. That she can find him and forgive him for not saying what they both want outright. As much as he's opened up to her, that familiar fear that kept him from leaving the apartment now prevents him from leaving his masks behind.

"What I said... it's true."