exsiliumlogs | The Italian Job

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The Italian Job

Date & Time: May 1st, 1797, on the eve of Venice's fall to Napoleon.
Location: Venice
Characters: Gilbert Nightray and Xerxes Break
Summary: Intrigue, truth-telling, fancy dress parties, and gondoliering.
Warnings: Gilbert's bitter tears

With talks of the war raging on around them soon coming to their doorsteps, the Venetian rich are trying very hard to take a moment away from the gnawing fear of Napoleon forcing the issue of war on the Republic of Venice.

The perilous (too perilous!) mission of our intrepid, gallant heroes is to - attend grand balls. Three of them. The purpose isn't so much to cure once and for all Gilbert's fear of romance, as to ferret out a Napoleonic spy and collect documents of rare historical - and tactical - value.

Time is of the essence, and to facilitate information-gathering, the Initiative has given our heroes a prototype device that compels truth-telling in the form of a "masculine" hat: that is to say, purple velvet, with flowers on. And a ribbon.

It's a manly mission for manly men.

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I like the rain better.

[He grumbles as he props himself back up to grab the oar and steer them off towards the nearest pier. It's tough to say if that's a truth told because of the hat or just an absent minded complaint for the sake of complaining.]

[ Hm, that wasn't too terribly helpful. He could keep teasing, but after Gilbert's excruciating litany of humiliation, it seems a bit anticlimactic. Or pointless. Or just too easy. Like taking candy from a baby...

Which he's actually been known to do, but! For the moment, he'll speak seriously. ]

This is important. Listen to me. I'm precisely determining the properties of this hat, which - as I've mentioned - could be critical to the timely completion of our task.

Now, I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you lie, okay? It's very important that you not tell me the truth.

[ ...

Goddammit. He can't resist. ]

Do you like me, Gilbert?

[He briefly stops rowing, eyes going wide as he stares down at the clear water in front of them, the lazy clouds reflected off of the rippling surface.

Do you like me, Gilbert?]

I -

[He might be forced to answer, but that doesn't mean he has to let Break hear his answer. One hand still on the oar, he slaps the other over his mouth quickly, muffling the sound of his answer into a mess of mmph mm mmmnnph hmm hhm mmmmph's.]

[ How peculiar. He'd expected Gilbert, if forced to be truthful, would sing out his dislike with gusto. Or - if he were able to resist the truth-telling effects - just get angry and refuse to answer.

But this odd mmmmph-ing... ]

What--?

[ He checks himself, making a mental note: when it comes to this hat, don't ask anything you don't want to know the answer to.

...idiot. ]

[ He plucks the hat from his head and busily rearranges his fringe. ]

I wonder...haha! I wonder if it resets after a while. This hat. It's, ah, it's much more useful when the vict-- I mean, target doesn't realize what he's being asked.

[He gives a flustered huff as he rows them up to the nearest pier. It's louder over here, but it's only for a moment so he can turn them the hell around.]

In that case, we need to be careful what we ask. [Eyebrow twitch.] And not use it so recklessly!

[ His head tilts to one side, clearly listening to the activity on the pier as they approach. And then, abruptly: ]

I say, Gilbert! We should dock here. There's something nearby that's going to be critical to our task.

[He's a little afraid to ask, but:]

Something critical...?

That's right! Absolutely essential~! Now come on, come on, row into the slip, or whatever they call it.

[ Cradling the hat in his arms, he stands up halfway in the gondola, as if he's about to leap to the pier. ]

[He's not entirely convinced! But they're headed that way anyways, and this stupid gondola is difficult to navigate properly, so he doesn't really have a choice but to at the very least temporarily park it here.]

B-Break! We can't waste any more time! What are you talking about?

You'll seeeeee~!

[ The gondola is barely next to the pier when Break does jump out. He pulls the hat onto his head once more and takes off walking, his long jacket fluttering behind. He's in such a great hurry that he actually bumps into several people (and, uncharacteristically, apologizes).

Fortunately that big purple hat is easy to follow, even in a crowd. ]

Hey!

[As soon as someone comes up to help Gilbert dock the (stolen, it's been stolen all this time) gondola, he thanks them, hopes that the translation device that they were given works properly, and then rushes off through the crowd after Break, ignoring the questions of the man behind him.

Looks like they'll just have to steal another one later. For now he's playing a game of Follow The Big Purple Hat.]

[ Eventually Gilbert will indeed find Break, who has stopped in front of his destination and is rapturously inhaling. The destination being a little shop with a sign in front that says: ]

Pasticceria Colussi

[STOMPING UP BEHIND HIM.]

What was that about something critical?!

It's very critical! I'm starving. You wouldn't want me to--

[ WOW FUCK he's going to sweep this hat off because heaven knows he doesn't want any honest answers to this... ]

--to keel over from starvation now, would you?

[That was...kinda weird. Of course, it'll take Gilbert a second to make the correlation.]

Eat later. We don't have time to go food shopping right now.

[ Wave wave wave ]

Do stop fretting, Gilbert. I won't be a moment.

[ With the hat tucked under one arm, he heads into the shop, to order "one of everything." ]

[Gilbert almost waits outside, but then realizes that without supervision, Break is going to spend their entire budget for this trip on cake.

Fists clenched, he storms into the pastry shop. The angriest man to ever enter this pastry shop--

Until he looks around and realizes that this shop is. Sort of amazing. Now he's distracted by bread, lord save us.]

[ Not just pastry and bread, but chocolate and rich coffee too, which was apparently A Thing in eighteenth century Venice. Break has already found himself a little table just outside. This is an experience that needs to be savored, after all. ]

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