[Closed]

[hotdate]

Date & Time: November 7th, 2256
Location: Paris, France.
Characters: Kanaya Maryam speakveryclearly & Heath Burns hotdate
Summary: MISSION! Screwing over UE's chemical weapons chances with the power of bureaucracy!
Warnings: Teenagers and probable fires.


[Heath absolutely leapt at the opportunity to get off the moon base for a while, to get out of the stifling plastic cage that had been his home for almost two months. Even more tempting was spending it with a girl. Like heck he could ever turn something like that down. The human disguise, however, was a major downside. Though he knew from experience that normies got really antsy around monsters, so it was probably for the best.

So now he stands in Paris, glancing around, looking just like any regular normie]

This place looks almost identical to Scaris. The normies really did make their side of the city look exactly like ours. Talk about no imagination.

Comments

omg where did the notif for this go

[hotdate]

[He grins, looking ridiculously pleased with himself by all accounts]

It went great! The guy who was looking after me was super French and super boring, but after an accident with a tiny bit of fire in a trash can where some documents [finger quotes] 'got misplaced'. It all ran smoothly.

[speakveryclearly]

[She has to cover her mouth with both hands to hide her amusement; nevertheless her eyes literally light up and betray her laughter.]

Is that your preferred technique...? Well, you know what they say about romantic and bellicose fairness.

[hotdate]

What can I say? I stick with what I know best. [He blinks] Uh...no, actually, I don't.

[speakveryclearly]

[She rolls her eyes and recites, condescending] "All's Fair In Love And War".

[hotdate]

Ohhhhhhhhhh.

...Yeah, I never got that at all, because neither love or war are very fair at all.

[Baby steps, Kanaya, baby steps]

[speakveryclearly]

That's the point. That those fields seem unfair but should be held to different, lower fairness standards.

[hotdate]

Beeeecause of the fact they're so unfair?

[speakveryclearly]

I guess the idea is that they're so persistently unfair, any attempt at legislation would be futile.

[hotdate]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Yeah that's still a super weird saying.

[speakveryclearly]

They call them idioms for a reason.

[hotdate]

Id-io-ims. [He sounds it out carefully] Yeah, I don't get it.

[speakveryclearly]

Idioms. Sayings. Expressions.

It's because they're stupid out of context.

[hotdate]

Ohhhhhh do they're like...idiotic?

...Idiomotic.

[speakveryclearly]

Idiomatic is technically the adjectival form.

[hotdate]

Huh. I guess you really do learn something new every day.

[speakveryclearly]

Uhuh. What I learned today is that apparently a holiday called "Armistice Day" takes place only four days from now.

[hotdate]

Oh yeah, that's one for the veterans.

[speakveryclearly]

Veterans of what, exactly? This is so many years before the only war with which I'm familiar...

[hotdate]

Oh...uh. I want to say the first world war?

...Or maybe it's the second?

One of them, anyway.

[speakveryclearly]

World war?

[Sorry Heath is now the authority]

[hotdate]

[He is the worst authority and this is a terrible decision on her part]

Yep. We had two of them. In the second one we fought the Germans and in the first one we fought...

...

The British? I think it was them.

[speakveryclearly]

"We" being - Americans, right? [She hadn't realized that was her assumption about Heath's background but now that she has made it so much is explained]

[hotdate]

[He grins and nods] That's right. The good 'ol U.S.A.

[speakveryclearly]

I spent over a year after coming to this planet completely convinced that the United Kingdom and United States were the same country. Your widespread mastery of geography stupefies me.

[hotdate]

Nah, there's like...a whole ocean between us. And they have a queen ad stuff. We got out of the queen thing by throwing a bunch of tea off a boat.

The British really like tea.