exsiliumlogs | I'm a loose bolt, of a complete machine

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I'm a loose bolt, of a complete machine

Date & Time: 12-19
Location: SOMEWHERE out in that frozen tundra
Characters: Sollux Captor + Hyperion Crius + Khisanth + Jake English + Anyone who wants to watch?
Summary: Sollux wants a fight and some people take him up on it.
Warnings: Violence, swearing, blood

He's exactly where he said he'd be. A couple of miles out from the nearest local-filled area, and only the occasional hunter would be this far in this direction. And hey, it's not his fault if they see this fight then. He TRIED to keep out of their way.

It's unsurprisingly freezing out, like all days before this one. Fortunately and unfortunately for Sollux, as a lowblood, he's a lot more accustomed to warmer temperatures. His blood burns hotter underneath his skin, and so he is warmer to the touch than a human, but at the same time, more chilled by the colder temperatures outside. But still, even in this temperature, he's only in a light t-shirt and long-sleeve undershirt. He knows that this fight might get messy, and he'd rather not get his sweaters and jackets damaged, when he knows he'll need them later. Better to dress in clothes he doesn't care about and temporarily freeze his ass off.

Sollux waits for his opponent to show up, flicking his psionics through his body every once in a while to keep himself warmer in the snow that he levitates a foot above.

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The fight with Genesis went… oddly. Or maybe it wasn't so odd, but it stuck out as so because of his given fighting style and powers. Fighting off an offensive liquid with psionics was like trying to catch a fish with your bare hands. So, pretty goddamn hard. But being mutual acquaintances, almost passing friends, made it the unspoken agreement that they wouldn't use their more deadly attacks on each other. It was just sparring. Overall, they had been pretty evenly matched when it came down to it.

Exhausted, (which really isn't that hard to accomplish, he's pretty wimpy physically) Sollux sits in the snow and catches his breath.

"Okay. Alright. I think… I think I'm good."

Hyperion was used to getting rough with people. It came with the job description - you hunted down bad guys, they often fought back like predators after a prey. The scars and some bumps under his clothes were proof of that. Lucky for him, his power allowed for some considerable distance; all he had to do was prick a finger and voilá, his blood did the rest for him. Going after someone with a power similar in that nature made the job just a little harder, but again - they were just sparring. There was no major danger in what they were doing.

"Y'sure? Still got a little left in me."

It was a big fat lie. He could barely keep up with his breath.

"Don't bullshit," Sollux replies, brushing some snow out of his hair. How and when it wound up there, he has no idea. "You're a pretty good fighter. Uhm."

How to... put this in a way that doesn't sound awful.

"I needed that. But could you do jutht... one more thing for me?"

"Thanks. You ain't too shabby, either," he smiled, lips lopsided as he brushes a hand through his hair, ruffling any possible snow off. With a deep exhale, he settled his hands on his sides. "What is it?"

"How hard can you... actually punch?"

"Dunno," he reached into his pocket, fishing out an almost empty pack of cigarettes. He was down to the last three. "Not like I work out. Why, you wanna go out with style?"

"Not if you don't have a good hook." Because he's looking to emulate a very specific kind of feeling, and if he wanted to be hit by some limpy noodle fist, he'd just have punched himself.

"You're starting to sound weird. Is that another alien thing?" He's mostly kidding, honest. "Not doing anything kinky."

Unfortunately, Sollux isn't kidding here. "It's kind of another alien thing. And no, it'th not kinky. ...Sort of. Do you really want me to get into it?"

"... No. Just as long as it don't suddenly make me the father of your child."

"What the fuck? No. Do you even know how human pregnancy works? It's fucking repulsive." Sollux says, standing up and de-snowing himself some more. "Alright, fuck talking in the snow, it's cold as globes out here."

"Yeah, well, don't know nothing about alien reproduction, man." Raising a finger, "And I don't want to. Just so we're clear."

Tilting his head to the side, he starts to walk.

"Fine. But it's way better." And a lot more clean. But whatever, Hyperion doesn't want to hear it, so Sollux won't say it. He'll just also walk back towards town.

Yuck, he can taste blood.

"You smoke-?"

"Not those. They don't do anything for me." Weed, on the other hand. That was a great time. The one time he did it.

"What, then-?" Because Genesis is always expecting this guy to come up with some crazy alien things he can try out. And hopefully not die from.

"Some human plant thing. It was green." He thinks saying it is green is actually important, considering most drugs on Alternia are bright neon colors. Oh yeah, and speaking of Alternia drugs, he won't be bringing them up unless asked. Bad trips make bad experiences.

"Oh. Ohh." He's smiling at that, nodding in understanding. "Weed, probably. Or oregano."

"What the fuck ith oregano?" ANOTHER STRANGE HUMAN DRUG??

Okay, he might be laughing a little bit to himself, now.

"Ever had pizza?"

"Yeah?" Is this even related, strange human boy?

"Oregano's the green little thing they put on top of all that cheese," He begins, pretending to sprinkle some in the air, "If somebody wants to trick you into thinking you're smoking weed when you're not, they use oregano. Smells great, doesn't really do much."

He looks up, exhaling and dropping his shoulders, "Man, I could really use some pizza right about now."

"Oh, so it's to troll people." That he understands. "Do you think we could make some here?" Because the chances that the dudes in charge of the Transporter would let them navigate space and time for the sake of pizza is pretty slim.

"Sure! You know how to make pizza?" Because he... really doesn't.

"Conthidering you just had to tell me one of the ingredients, do you THINK I know how to make it?" Sorry dude, but the most this kid has ever made food-wise is a tv dinner.

"Shit, man, don't shoot me for askin'!" He's raising both hands, now, like a gun's just been pointed at his head. "'Cause I sure as hell don't either."

"I'm not going to shoot you." Was he that intimidating? Whoops... Chill out, Sollux. Deep breathes. "Isn't it part of your culture? Why don't you know?"

"Part of my culture-?" He arches his brows. "No, man, you got it all wrong. What's part of my culture is that teenage boys like me get to be lazy slobs. We can't cook for ourselves, no way. That's that moms and dads are for. And McDonald's, too."

"Okay, I learned what a mom and dad was a while ago, but what the fuck is a McDonald's?" Because that one is new to him.

"Shit - you don't know McDonald's? Come on. That's like the biggest junk food franchise in the universe. It's gotta be."

He sure as hell knows nothing about the universe and the things that inhabit it. Except for trolls now, he supposes.

"Ever had a cheeseburger? Imagine that times a thousand. With french fries and coke."

"Whatever it is, it doesn't exist on Alternia. Tho even if it was the biggest franchise in the human universe, it didn't exist in my home universe." A shrug. Maybe he's had a cheeseburger before? Probably, if it's such a common human food. "I might've? But I don't know what a coke is." But he would like to learn. Because it sounds kind of awesome.

"You 'n me, my friend, we need to go on a serious mission back in time. We're gonna get you a cheeseburger and a coke and you're gonna wish you were born human." Does he sound confident in his words? He is. "Or that you had McDonald's in your home world. Either or."

Sollux just stares at the other for a moment. Blank, unmoving staring. It's kind of intimidating a little with his eyes, and then- laughing. A lot of laughing. More than he's done in a while actually.

"Eh heheheheheh- I'd never wish I wath human- but I get what you're thaying. Alright, yeah, let'th go sometime. To your awful human food franchises!"

Edited 2013-12-30 09:02 (UTC)

He didn't even catch her name. He just knows that for some human, she talked big talk. He hadn't put two and two together to realize she's the same dragon woman that had put that blindness curse on Karkat. Maybe if he had, the situation might be a bit different, but as it is… here he is, thinking this won't be much of a fight at all.

Really Jake? You're that determined to fight the guy you saw blow up a dozen soldier's heads simultaneously? You are not a smart man at all. At least that's what Sollux is thinking. He really wants a fight he can go all out on, but … He can't do that to Jake. He's going to have to handicap himself here, and he knows it. He's just a kid with some guns, what's the worst he could do?

Jake wants to prove his own worth. What he lacks in skills he more than makes up for in moxy! At least, that's how Jake likes to think about it. It's true he doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell against Sollux, but he'll be damned if he's backing down from this challenge after the good ribbing Sollux just gave him. He'll show him who is going to be whose bitch!

... Okay, it'll still be Jake, but dangit he's determined to last longer than one hit at least.

He might have gotten a little sidetracked on his way to the river, however, and shows up a good fifteen minutes late trying not to look like he ran the whole way there.

He did though.

Jake doubles over for a second taking a few big breaths before standing up straight and pointing one of his pistols at Sollux.

"Good to see you're not backing out of our match!"

"Can you stop acting like I'm the one who has a reason to be scared here or something? Because the only thing I'm worried about right now is accidentally getting too pissed off at how stupid you are, and popping your head off or whatever."

Sollux says, having little to no reaction at having a gun pointed at him. "There's two ways we can do this. One, you shoot at me, I deflect the bullet, we all agree this was a dumb idea and you go home. Two, we both don't use our weapons, and we all agree this was a dumb idea and you go home. Tho which one is it going to be?"

Jake manages to look indignant at the suggestion that he's not some sort of worthy opponent, despite the fact that he started his earlier conversation off with outright admitting that he didn't have a chance against Sollux. Some insults cannot go unchallenged, however, no matter how stupid the challenge might be!

"It's hardly a dumb idea! But if you're that flippant on how this fight is going to go down, then I guess we can go old fashion here."

Jake holsters his pistols and puts up his dukes. Yeah, he's looking for a fist fight with a psychic. This'll go well.

"It's been some time since I've had a proper wrestling match! ... Actually, I've never had a proper wrestling match, considering it never really goes right when I wrestle with Dirk's dumb roboavatar, but casting that aside I'm sure this should be one to remember."

Is he...

Is he really suggesting a fist fight?

At first Sollux wants to scoff at him, but... he hasn't had a fist fight in forever, either. And with Equius, it wasn't ever really a fist fight, it was more a "Equius tries to throw things at him and if he does punch him he's holding back" fight. Sollux lowers himself to the ground, silently considering.

"Alright."

Don't seem too surprised, English.

He really is, and he doesn't even seem to realize how this could possible go wrong. He might realize that Sollux can beat him at every other style of fight, but he's got far too much confidence in his own weak abilities.

This is not going to end well for him.

With a big grin, Jake raises his fists and changes up his footing so he's standing like a boxer waiting for a match.

"Right response! Lets see what you're made of."

Sollux grins, although it's a bit too toothy to be a nice grin, and takes up getting into the same pose as Jake. More out of mocking than anything. He said he cheats, fights dirty, and he wasn't kidding. His fists, on their own, couldn't bruise a peach. But if he puts a little psionic addition to them, they'll definitely leave something bruiseworthy, at least.

But he's also not going to be the one making the first move. Strategically, a first move isn't in his favor. Mentally, he prefers going second to first because of his duality obsession.

"Go on."

A sneaky attack that Jake might get after him about! ... If Jake wasn't so used to having the shit kicked out of him by a robot on a daily basis. It's not like getting his tush handed to him was anything new with Jake, so at the very least if this fight with sour Jake could take very small comfort in the fact that it wasn't all that different from his regular life.

And at Sollux's suggestion Jake goes ahead and leaps right at Sollux, arms outstretched, trying to tackle him to the ground. A slightly unorthodox way to start a fistfight...

That...

Was not a thing Sollux was expecting. He was kind of expecting, you know. A punch. So yeah, he was preparing in his mind several counter-measures, or how to return the punch, or even a dodge-

He was not expecting Jake to freaking jump him. So, the tackle succeeds, to Sollux's dismay. He lets out a groan as he's thrown to the ground with some, one-hundred-whatever pounds of force Jake can muster.

"What the hell wath that?? This isn't how you fistfight!" He neglects to remember Jake specifically said wrestling.

Unfortunately Sollux didn't take into account the most important thing one must never forget when fighting Jake! And that is that not only is Jake a complete idiot, but he's a complete idiot without any sort of real fighting training. His ideas of fights come from various movies he's seen, and also what he thinks looks like it'd be fun.

And by, tackling a non-metallic opponent that actually goes down is a lot more fun than bruising your fists repeated on a metal noggin.

Jake's doing his best to put Sollux in a headlock as he retorts. "I don't remember any ground rules like that being established in this fight, old friend!"

Well, that's... true. They didn't really set ground rules. And Sollux did say he fights dirty. He should give Jake the credit for doing just that, before Sollux even had a chance to.

Except he's not going to because he's a brat and is currently being put into a headlock and therefore more grumpy than appreciative of the other's forwardness. Sollux tries to use Jake's closeness to him against the other, grabbing at the arm English is trying to put around his neck and trying to leverage himself to headbutt Jake in the face with the back of his head. Away from his horns, of course, because gouging Jake in the face was not part of the plan.

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I'm a loose bolt, of a complete machine

Hyperion

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Khisanth

Jake

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