[CLOSED]

[heartstorage]

Date & Time: Earlier in December
Location: House of Miscommunication Hearts
Characters: Sora & Roxas
Summary: Awkward.
Warnings: So damn awkward

[Sora really hasn't spoken to Roxas much since Xion left and Lea had told him what he knew. It wasn't that he didn't care, he really did. It's just...He hadn't known what to say, or how to face him. Even if Lea had tried to insist otherwise, Sora couldn't shake the feeling that it was all his fault Xion was gone. Not only that, but to know that Xion had been slowly killing Roxas.......had anyone told him that? Should he let him know? He didn't have the first clue.]

[And so, feeling guilty and clueless, he avoided. He put up with the nightmares that came from sleeping alone, he avoided areas on the base that he knew Roxas would like to be. He almost hated himself for it, knowing how much it bothered him when people did that to him- but he didn't know what else to do.]

[But it was moving down to the planet that broke the avoidance. It was kinda hard to do that in the same household, much less the same bedroom after all. And so, it'll be when Riku and Lea are out working that he'll actually attempt to brave a conversation one-on-one with Roxas while standing in the doorway of their room.]

....Hey.

[Yeah. He's off to a great start.]

Comments

[otherness]

[Not a bad idea. He puts his hand on his chin.]

Is there a club for eating ice cream?

[heartstorage]

[.........................oh god he didn't want to be the one to break this news.]

[LEA WHERE ARE YOU.]

Heh heh....I dunno, I haven't checked!

But you know, it might be too cold for people to be having ice cream........I haven't seen any in the stores...........

[otherness]

[He can hear the unsureness of those ellipses.]

But... it's ice cream.

[He gives a big ol' sigh.]

I guess I can ask around... see if there are any clubs at all. I don't mind learning something new.

[heartstorage]

[Okay, no freak out. Good. He'll chuckle now that it feels safe]

Sorry, Roxas. We'll get some next time there's a mission, okay?

[If it makes Roxas happy, he doesn't mind.]

That's the spirit! Maybe you'll get to learn something cool!

[otherness]

You like sea salt ice cream, too? ... Can we bring Lea?

[PRIORITIES. HE HAS THEM.]

[heartstorage]

[Sure, who doesn't love the memorable taste of dead friends and survivor's guilt on a stick? It's the happiest flavor!]

[But he'll eat it and not say anything about that. If it makes Roxas happy, then it's worth it. He'll smile and nod]

Sure, let's bring him too! It'll be the three of us.

[That felt...weirdly familiar to say.]

[otherness]

[Good Somebody. Best friend.]

The three of us...

[He's a little surprised, too, at how nice that is to say. He wonders if Xion sleeping somewhere within Sora counts as a fourth, but he doesn't say that out loud.]

Yeah.

[heartstorage]

It'll be great.

[Something to look forward to, they could all use it. He looks over at Roxas]

But hey...listen. Even if something happens and we don't talk for awhile...don't ever think you're not important to me, okay? I'll always care about you.

And that's not...special. We're important to each other and we care about each other. That's just how it should be.

[otherness]

[Roxas isn't even aware he's not breathing until there's pressure in his chest. Once again, Sora's blindsided him with kindness. He doesn't just want to be friends. Roxas is important to him somehow-- Sora actively cares. Even though he's a Somebody, he cares about more than just being the other half.

"Sora, see? This is why it has to be you."

It's more than he could ever ask for. He ducks his head, rubbing at his eyes furiously.]

T-thanks, [he manages.] I think-- I think you're right.

People care about each other. That's how it's supposed to be.

[heartstorage]

[To Sora, it was hard to explain exactly what it was he felt for Roxas. They were different people, no doubt about that. But...it was a bit more complicated than that too. It wasn't like his other friendships. Even he couldn't fully deny they were part of one another.]

Yeah!

[He'll playfully bump Roxas's shoulder while smiling, as if to counteract Roxas's tears] Now you're getting it.

[otherness]

[He gets a little embarrassed by that and bumps Sora back.]

Yeah, yeah...

[He's done crying, at least. But he keeps rubbing at his cheeks like it'll make the red go away.]

[heartstorage]

[That's because Sora is an embarrassing person to be around, one that responds to that bump with a small snicker. And he notices that, and even contemplates pointing out that rubbing will just make it redder but...eh. He'll let it go. He just gives out a little sigh and relaxes instead]

So you okay? [Or at least...feeling just a tad better?]

[otherness]

[He nods.]

Yeah. Better than when you came in, somehow. I guess talking about things helps.

[heartstorage]

[He smiles just a little; feeling a bit glad]

Well of course, it's good to talk about stuff! It gets it off your chest!

[......says the total hypocrite.]

that iconnnnn |DDDD

[otherness]

[Roxas glances down at his own chest.]

So if I'm sad... you are, too?

his one normal human being face

[heartstorage]

[Crap. Not as planned. The smile fades.]

About Xion?

Well...yeah. Of course I am.

[otherness]

[It's okay, he's not hitting that angle too hard.]

About... anything. If I'm half of you and there's something on my chest...

Ah, but then the opposite must be true. If you're happy, then I am too.

[heartstorage]

[...Goddammit Roxas. He thought we were making progress. He gives a little sigh]

Roxas...That's not...true. We have a lot in common, but...

Our feelings don't always match.

[otherness]

[... Oh.]

... They don't?

[BUT I CAN FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.]

[heartstorage]

[THEN CAN YOU FEEL THE HEADACHE I GET EVERY TIME A TOPIC LIKE THIS COMES UP BECAUSE MAN HE CAN SURE FEEL IT]

No...it's...

[How to explain]

Remember when you gave me your memories? I felt what you felt.

And there was a lot of similarity- things I would've felt in that situation. But there were some emotions, reactions that were...different. Different than I would have ever felt. They were yours...and only yours. Not mine.

[otherness]

[Wow. So apparently sharing that stuff backfired somehow? Still... there was a time when Roxas believed he was himself, and only himself. No one else. That was when he felt those things strongly. He was so certain...

But, thinking about it, there are some things that Sora feels that are his alone. Pretty much everything toward his friends. Sora loves Riku unconditionally, but Roxas is always a little hesitant because he doesn't really understand Riku the way Sora does. He gets Kairi a little more-- maybe because of Naminé-- but it's still the same deal.

They're Sora's friends, not Roxas'. He didn't spend his childhood with them.]

... I think I get it now, [he says finally.]

[heartstorage]

[It both backfired and it didn't. If he had not gotten Roxas's memories, he would have never figured out that Xemnas had been lying. The truth would be forever lost to darkness, and along with any chance to help Roxas or Xion.]

[Had it been an attempt to convince Sora they were one in the same, then yes. It did. Sora was willing to carry the burden of those memories as long as it took to achieve his goal. But they would never be his memories.]

...Do you?

[He frowns a little. It's not that he doesn't want to not trust Roxas but well....the guy does seem to like to say vague things then turn out he had the wrong idea all along]

[otherness]

Even though I'm your Nobody, there are some things that only belong to one of us. We have different memories, different friends-- different experiences. That makes us...

It makes us different.

[He lets out a breath. That's a huge thing to admit.]

But even so, that doesn't change anything. You're my other.

[heartstorage]

[Sora listens, and he feels torn about this compromise. It was a relief to hear that on some level, Roxas was willing to accept they were different. But...they have such different viewpoints on the matter. Roxas seemed to have such peace about becoming someone else, about being a piece of someone and not an individual. Sora meanwhile found it terrifying. He wanted so badly to be his own person, to have complete confidence when he said who he was that it was the absolute truth.]

[But more and more that dream felt like such an uphill battle.]

My other....

[His tone is quiet, it lacks a lot of the argumentativeness that it usually has. Because frankly, he just wants to know.]

I don't get it. Why doesn't it bother you that you're not your own person?

[otherness]

[Roxas blinks once or twice. Why? That's not something he usually thinks about. He pulls his legs up and sits cross-legged on the bed, his hands in his lap.]

Because... it's not something I can change.

[He tilts his head back, remembering.]

I didn't want to believe it for a long time. I didn't want to accept you, so I kind of... caused problems even when we were one. I wasn't really conscious, I guess. I didn't come to terms with it until we fought inside your heart. Because Axel had...

[He shakes his head.] If I kept rejecting you, I don't know what would've happened. Probably nothing good.

Even when I was in the Organization, I was always told I wasn't my own person-- that I was only a figment of someone else. The guy in red told me that when I was in Twilight Town.

... It's hard to think you're your own person when everyone you meet sees you as someone else.