exsiliumlogs | (no subject)

[Isaac watches Scott as he speaks, taking in the apology with somewhat of a confused look before he slowly nods, as if working it out for himself. He was pretty sure that Scott would feel bad, but he didn't know if he should anticipate an apology or not. Either way, it seems sincere enough, doesn't it? He's not lying, anyway, he must regret what happened. Isaac knows what it's like to lose control, remembers the haze of violence and hate that was his first full moon, and if this is anything like that had been-]

You... don't want me to stop talking to Peter. [Slowly, as if working that out for himself.] But you do want me to stop training with Allison.

[Isaac's eyes lower for a moment in thought, but before Scott can respond, he opens his mouth, speaking a little quickly.]

I can't just try to do my own thing if I don't know what makes you mad. If you want something from me, give me rules, not guidelines. So when I break them, you can do- whatever, and we both know it's my fault. [Which, frankly, is a lot for him to say, and pretty risky too. He's in no position to make demands like that. But it seems like Scott is in a better mood, feeling better from the moon, and things can maybe be little bit negotiable.]

I don't- [he swallows hard, looking away from Scott to hide the hitch in his breath at the memory of being so helpless, having only himself to blame for things he didn't even know he did wrong] -I don't want to not know about rules until I've already broken them.

[Rules. It's like he's in a position of authority, and he ... is, isn't he? He is. But Scott doesn't look at it that way. His pack is someone he's meant to protect, not lord over. And he fleetingly looks frustrated, not with Isaac, but himself and the situation.]

No, Isaac, just—please just forget everything I said. Look, last time I went and made out with Lydia and said some really nasty stuff to Stiles. [Which isn't excusing it then, either. Scott had been so caught up in Allison, in losing Allison, that he let it get to him, let it overpower him. Here he is again, but he's overwhelmed by more than just that. (But he can't pretend that isn't a factor.)] I didn't mean it, and I don't mean it now.

[There's a pause where he looks down.] There aren't any rules. Any things you have to follow. We're equals, we work together, like—like when we looked out for my mom together. But you can spend time with Allison, I just—[He doesn't like it. But that's out of petty jealousy. Not being an alpha. Nothing to do with pack of being a werewolf or any of that. He is a werewolf, and there are times when acting according to those behaviors is important, but first and foremost, he is Scott, and he has friends, and this is the second one he's hurt like this.]

[And Isaac looks genuinely confused at that, because there are always rules. But Scott seems so earnest and desperate for Isaac to believe him that he's not quite sure what he wants at the moment. It's complicated- he's starting to think that everything here is going to be complicated.]

...okay.

[It's more of a surrender than it is an agreement, but it's something. Isaac pulls a leg up to his chest then, resting his heel on the bed and wrapping his arms around his knee. He can try to work with that- even if it's still confusing, even if there's the worry now that he'll somehow anger Scott again, what choice does he have? If Scott doesn't want to tell him the ground rules, then he can't ensure that they don't get broken.

Allison seems like a good place to start though. He considers that for a moment, wonders if she's be upset, but ultimately it doesn't quite matter. There are more pressing issues, and after a moment, Isaac looks up toward Scott and his expression is more vulnerable than he'd like it to be, tentative and unsure.]

...I shouldn't ask, but I just... did you mean what you said about not trusting me?

[He's never needed to be trusted before, never really cared for it or concerned himself with what other people thought of him. But Isaac trusts Scott so implicitly, would follow him despite everything else, that not having even a fraction of his belief in his alpha returned is devastating.

It shouldn't be, but there you have it.]

Nothing I said was true. I trust you.

[There are moments when he worries about Isaac. He definitely worries about him. Isaac is someone who is more inclined toward violence than Scott is, and he knows that it's something he'll have to be there for. Outside of that, he knows Isaac is different from him. Their lives are entirely different.

But that's it.

The most disorienting part of all this is not that Scott has been here before, but that he's missed so much. Isaac is someone he's meant to support, and there are bits of it where Scott can see his own insecurities flaring up. Telling Isaac he doesn't trust him, saying that the thing with Peter is a problem—it's all rooted in problems with Scott himself. They aren't true reflections of it, but Scott feels a little like he has to play catch-up. It just became warped. All of it.]

But if you don't trust me—and you shouldn't—that's all right. I'm ... I'll do what I can to earn it back, Isaac.

[The relief that washes over him is visible, and Isaac's shoulders relax a little as he nods once and ducks his head to hide the embarrassing smile that comes with that revelation. He has no illusions about their differences- Isaac is well aware of his own aggression and how Scott doesn't always approve of it. But Scott doesn't hate him for it. Scott trusts him despite it.

Trusts him.

And the implication that Isaac doesn't, shouldn't trust Scott in return actually makes his smile grow a bit wider, and Isaac shakes his head, almost nonchalant now that the hard part is over.]

Of course I trust you. You did what you had to, right? [A pause, and Isaac realizes a bit too late that Scott probably won't like that excuse, and so he shakes his head, interjecting-] -I mean. The moon made you do it. The moon made me almost kill a hunter and your friend back when they arrested me. And I guess we shouldn't make examples of her but you saw Erica last night.

[So, Isaac stands a little slowly, letting out a sigh as he claps a reassuring hand on Scott's shoulder. He doesn't like the solemn mood that this conversation has- it makes him a little uncomfortable to be so serious about things with Scott, so he tries to change the tone, lighten his voice with a little encouraging smile.]

I'm pretty sure werewolves get a couple 'get out of brutally injuring people free' cards on the full moon, and you barely even bruised me.

I still—[He begins to argue with Isaac, but decides to keep it in. He knows exactly the gravity of what he did between Isaac's reaction now and Isaac's history. Still, if Isaac wants to do this, then he'll go with it—at least Isaac doesn't think there are rules or ideas on how he wants him to behave. He shakes his head casually.] Forget it.

I'm gonna go, though. I'll see if Lydia and Allison can let me stay there, just because ... [Just because. Isaac should be alone with Peter, and Scott doesn't think he's imagining anything there.] I think it's a good idea.

[There's a pause at that, and Isaac stares at him for a moment, the smile flickering on his face for a moment before he forces it back and nods. His hand drops from Scott's shoulder, and he rubs it awkwardly over the back of his neck.]

...alright. Yeah, that's- that's cool. [Please be a little bit less awkward.]

-I'll see you around?

Of course. [It's an instantaneous statement. He has no intention of ignoring or avoiding Isaac, even if he thinks it might be easier ... for a couple of days at most.]

And soon. I promise.

[Isaac nods, not entirely sure if he believes him, but wanting to anyway. Scott obviously thinks that this is for the best, and Isaac can't exactly blame him- especially not if Peter finds out about the punch.]

Sure. Do you need help getting your stuff?

Well, there's not exactly a whole lot of it, right? I should be okay.

[He smiles at the idea of needing help. All he's got really is his back pack and the change of clothes he's been moving to and from because he's otherwise lacking a whole lot.

... He really needs to fix that, come to think of it.]

Alright, yeah.

[In that case, Isaac is just going to just do his best to relax a little, flopping back on the bed and reaching for his gameboy. Conversation basically over.]