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Date & Time: December 1st
Location: The Initiative Hold
Characters: Everyone!
Summary: New transports are probably way less pleased about their arrival than their designated greeter appears to be. What are we saying, probably.
Warnings: No, unless you hate joy and laughter.

You, dear Transport, are in for an extra special treat. This is not just any standard protocol information session, although you're still required to listen to the obligate spiel and choose ~~your own adventure~~ your fancy new equipment (or something more familiar, if you'd rather). Once 'the boring part' is over, an excitable blonde with a hairstyle out of a Dr. Seuss book begins ushering you down the halls. Although she glosses over the history of the place that you've found yourself in, she seems much more enthused about telling you that you've arrived in the best month of the year.

It's highly probable that Becky (for that is her name, really) was chosen for this particular batch of Transports not because of her blinding devotion to her informational duties, but to give the other workers in her division of the Hold a few moments of rest from her chipper voice. Any snark or sniping is brushed off easily enough by the bubbly woman as she leads you further into the Hold. She lets you know that although there are serious reasons for you to be here, you should try to include yourself in the local customs in order to foster a feeling of hominess and unity, as that sort of thing is very important...and keeps in close tradition with Non-Denominational Cheer Day, a holiday coming up quickly toward the end of the month. She even presents you with a pink, blue and silver bow made from surprisingly high-quality ribbon along with your netbook, coinpurse or card before she ushers you into the banquet room and encourages you to 'mix with your fellow man – or whatever they might be!'

She disappears with a twirl of bright blue skirt and you're left to your own devices in the banquet room. Perhaps in an effort to make up for the previous month's somewhat lack-luster party (who had time to plan a proper spread when parts of the building weren't even functioning?), the eight-person tables are dressed with various solid-coloured tablecloths overlaid with shimmery silver material. The entire room looks a little bit more 'frosty' than usual (fake snow was so 21st century) – the walls glitter with what looks to be some sort of spray-on ice crystals (they're probably plastic).

Winter beverages line one side of the banquet hall – hot toddies, cider, and hot chocolate with all of the proper fixings – while the other has no shortage of warming foods like stews and casseroles. There's no shortage of cookies for dipping, if that's your thing. Surely you'll be able to find something to eat, or at least someone to talk to...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I guess it is time to get a skedaddle right on out of here. Though...

[ He looks over at the table with all the food and sighs. ]

It's been a long day. I'm sure no one will mind if I cover it up and have a bite to eat first.

[ Yes, Jake. People will mind. Also another point to the creepy factor. He can be covered in blood holding a dead head, and still has an appetite. ]

Dude. You're holding your best friend's bleeding severed head, and you want to eat?

[ Yeah, okay even Jake realizes that doesn't sound great. ]

I haven't had a properly cooked meal in weeks!

So!?

If I'm about to go out there and dig holes I might as well make sure I have the energy to do so!

[............]

You are one weird guy.

[ He looks a little affronted by that. Yeah... the guy holding his best friend's head and talking about wanting to eat looks offended. ]

Now that's uncalled for.

...No I'm pretty sure it just describes this situation.

Well it's unusual, sure, but calling me weird is taking it too far.

Anomalous then?

That depends, are we still talking about me or the situation?

...Take your pick!

Well if we're talking about the situation I can't exactly disagree with you.

Well, yeah I'd hope hauling around the head of your friends wasn't a weekly routine for you.

Absolutely not! In fact this is actually the first time I've met him face to face--

[ An awkward pause. ]

I always thought I'd meet the rest of him too when it happened though.

[.............]

[...........]

Okay I'm gonna ignore how creepy that all sounded, and just ask how the hell is he your best friend if the first time you met him was when he was a severed head.

[ He's really got no way of not making this sound crazy and creepy as hell. ]

Pesterchum of course! We talked to each other almost daily when he wasn't being a cagey asshole and making me talk to his computerized avatar instead of the genuine package.

Pester-what? [YOU ARE SPEAKING GIBBERISH TO ME]

[ Do people really not know about pesterchum? Well he does know that Jane used that insipid Betty Bother of hers, so maybe this guy's not a Peterchum man himself. ]

Er... an online instant messenger program?

[Hi Jake, have a completely blank look. Maybe the guy really is speaking another language]

[ He... doesn't know how to make it simpler than that, but he's trying. ]

We talk to each other... through computers... using words.

...Oh..

[a long pause]

Like the tablet?

[ It takes him a second to understand what he's asking about, because Jake's first thought are the drawing tablets that Dirk owns. But he fishes out the one the gave them here and holds it up. ]

You mean this thing?

Yeah, that thing. [Making sure to look directly at that and NOT the head]

[ Good call, Zelos. ]

Something like it! Exactly!

[ Not that he's really looked at it, but he remembers the vague explanation of it from before. ]

(no subject)

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