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transport log » ❝ welcome to Exsilium ❞

Date & Time: December 1st
Location: The Initiative Hold
Characters: Everyone!
Summary: New transports are probably way less pleased about their arrival than their designated greeter appears to be. What are we saying, probably.
Warnings: No, unless you hate joy and laughter.

You, dear Transport, are in for an extra special treat. This is not just any standard protocol information session, although you're still required to listen to the obligate spiel and choose ~~your own adventure~~ your fancy new equipment (or something more familiar, if you'd rather). Once 'the boring part' is over, an excitable blonde with a hairstyle out of a Dr. Seuss book begins ushering you down the halls. Although she glosses over the history of the place that you've found yourself in, she seems much more enthused about telling you that you've arrived in the best month of the year.

It's highly probable that Becky (for that is her name, really) was chosen for this particular batch of Transports not because of her blinding devotion to her informational duties, but to give the other workers in her division of the Hold a few moments of rest from her chipper voice. Any snark or sniping is brushed off easily enough by the bubbly woman as she leads you further into the Hold. She lets you know that although there are serious reasons for you to be here, you should try to include yourself in the local customs in order to foster a feeling of hominess and unity, as that sort of thing is very important...and keeps in close tradition with Non-Denominational Cheer Day, a holiday coming up quickly toward the end of the month. She even presents you with a pink, blue and silver bow made from surprisingly high-quality ribbon along with your netbook, coinpurse or card before she ushers you into the banquet room and encourages you to 'mix with your fellow man – or whatever they might be!'

She disappears with a twirl of bright blue skirt and you're left to your own devices in the banquet room. Perhaps in an effort to make up for the previous month's somewhat lack-luster party (who had time to plan a proper spread when parts of the building weren't even functioning?), the eight-person tables are dressed with various solid-coloured tablecloths overlaid with shimmery silver material. The entire room looks a little bit more 'frosty' than usual (fake snow was so 21st century) – the walls glitter with what looks to be some sort of spray-on ice crystals (they're probably plastic).

Winter beverages line one side of the banquet hall – hot toddies, cider, and hot chocolate with all of the proper fixings – while the other has no shortage of warming foods like stews and casseroles. There's no shortage of cookies for dipping, if that's your thing. Surely you'll be able to find something to eat, or at least someone to talk to...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I actually don't know. He'd probably be amused we gave it any sort of funeral. That's what we should do with it right? or like- should we freeze it? That would be really weird, right?

Argh, I dunno Jake! He's not even here and we've got to put up with his B S.

[ Freezing it doesn't seem particularly weird to Jake. Then again, he's also talked about getting it stuffed and mounted on a wall in all seriousness too, so Jake's opinion should generally be discounted here. ]

He sure does a bang up job of that no matter how present he is at any given moment. Do you think just finding a nice spot to dig up and chuck it in will do? If it doesn't live up to his standards then he can do something about the damned thing if he ever decides to make an appearance.

[Roxy sighs, she'd imagined many scenarios of meeting her best friends here yet they had all been sweet and tear-jerking and none of them involved corpses.]

Yeah, we'll go out and bury it. I'm keeping the shades though. Wanna go do it now? Then I can give you a proper welcome, and explain all this shit properly!

[ You can always count on Jake to ruin those heartwarming movie-esk scenes through sheer stupidity. ]

Take them! I sure as heck don't have any use for these shades, no matte how snazzy they might be.

[ He looks down at the head again and holds it up a little to examine it. ]

Now works just fine for me. The sooner we get rid of this thing the sooner people will stop giving me looks as they pass by.

I'll nab them once we dispose of it then. C'mon!

She tugs on his sleeve, heading towards the exit- she's been here long enough that she knows where to go- just a little away from the residential area they can find an empty place to bury it.]

Oh, Jake! Let's chat on the way- What weapon did you pick up?

[ Well it's good one of them does, since Jake's full knowledge of the place is a hallway and a series of rooms he's been ushered into so far. He hasn't even been outside yet, and hadn't even stopped to consider the fact that there might not be a good place to bury the head. It's a good thing there is, or they might be shit out of luck.

Jake follows along after Roxy, still trying to take in all the sights and sounds as they hurry along, since it's not like he thinks he'll get a chance like this again. ]

Why, my trusty pistols of course! I wasn't about to just hand them over in exchange for some newfangled weapon they wanted to pawn off on me when they've served me well so far.

I thought about keeping my rifle, or upgrading it to something better, but then I found something soooo much cooler.

It's- [She pauses mid sentence, grinning at him.] Actually I'm not gonna tell you! When we get to where we're burying it, I'll show you.

[ He was even leaning in as she was talking about her weapon, ready for the big reveal. It's almost disappointing that she decides to go back on it now, but he's sure it'll be worth the wait. ]

Right, of course! Can't go whipping out something like that in the middle of a party like this.

Don't worry jakey I'll whip it out alright! [Wonk.] But no, my weapon is just the coolest and oh my god, actually lots of things here are pretty cool, like do you know who you're roomies with? 'Cause I live with two magical elfs who are both magical and elf-y and there's wizards and even a guy called Merlin. Merlin Jake, I am teaching a Merlin about wizards.

[She's rambling a lot as they head outside and away from the building, but what do you expect? It's the first time she's spoken to any of her friends in months and there is just so much to catch up on.]

[ He's more than happy to let her ramble at the moment. Since his first meeting proper got cut short it's nice to be able to hear the voice of a friend, or another human being really. A voice that isn't accusing him of being insane is a big bonus too.

Plus he's trying to make sure he's keeping a good hold on Dirk's head while trying to follow her outside. Well... presumably outside at least. ]

When you say a Merlin, are we are talking about a fellah with a similar namesake, right?

Yeah! I mean it can't be the Merlin right? This one says he ain't a wizard but I think with a name like that you just have to have some wizardy potential locked away somewhere, right??

[Outside, it doesn't take long to reach a good enough spot, just away from the buildings.]

Okay, wanna see something cool?

[ Jake laughs at the very idea. The Merlin cooped up in a place like this? Can't be! ]

Of course not! The idea that the Merlin would land himself in this kind of pickle is preposterous. A man of that magical caliber would be able to get himself back to his own world in a jiffy. Though I'm sure you're new friend has his own share of talents.

[ Just to be fair to this man, since Roxy's speaking fondly of him and all. He's sure he's a good guy and all that.

And now that they're comfortably outside, Jake does what he's sort of been wanting to do for a little bit now. He plops Dirk's head down on the ground so he can have some reprieve from the damned thing! ]

Absolutely! Lets see this fabled weapon of yours!

Right! Plus he's sorta cute and the Merlin was an old beardy dude I'm pretty sure.

[Anyway enough of that, because she has something cool to show! She pulls out a magic wand. It's even a sort of pink color!]

Watch this!

[Pointing it downwards, there's a flash of light as it blasts a little whole in the ground.]

So fucking cool.

I'm positive you're right about that.

[ Because he's seen a few movies with Merlin in them, and Merlin's always an old dude. That's basically Arthurian law. Set in stone by the old British guys that came up with all the tales in the first place.

And speaking of wizards and magic, that sure does look like a magic wand Roxy's just pulled out there, and-- Oh... well yes, that sure did seem like a beam of magic that can blast holes in things. ]

Holy cow! You're a regular wizard yourself with that, Roxy!

I am! I really thought about getting another laser rifle but there is just no way I could pass that up. An actual wand with real magics. It's so cool. I met lots of other wizards and stuff here too and I even have a wizard boyfriend.

[She points at the hole] Anyway you can put Sir Strides-a-lot in now. We'll find a rad hat or something and stick it on top to mark the grave or something. Still can't believe we had to do this, urgh.

Well I'll be! You sure have been keeping yourself busy in this world. You'll have to fill me in on all the illicit details once we've gotten this head six feet under.

[ Takes a step forward to drop Dirk's head in. ]

Uh, obviously not actually illicit! Or really any personal details you don't want to share! I just meant I wanted to know what you've been up to while the rest of us were off puttering around back home.

[ He's just gonna shut up and drop this head into the hole now. ]

Too bad for you, I got no actual illicit deets to give. I do have a boyfriend though!

Actually technically I got two right now.

[ Well if Jake looked surprised before that's nothing compared to the shock on his face now! Maybe it was just because he'd falsely (but actually accurately) convinced himself that both Jane and Dirk had certain affections for him, and considering the limited pool of friends he never expected anyone else to get tangled up in a situation where they even had to deal with more than one person making eyes at them.

Then again if he stops to think about it for more than five seconds Roxy is a very lovely lady, and it's not like lack of people is really an issue around these parts. He shouldn't be surprised in the slightest that more than one suitor has presented themselves.

The fact that she's dating more than one of them is still pretty surprising though. ]

Two?! Holy moly! How did you manage to pull that?

Who wouldn't want to date me, Jake?

[It isn't two boyfriends in the way that he is expecting.. yet that it is exactly why she said it that way, just to see his reaction to it. She's still grinning, kicking dirt down into the shallow grave as she waits a little longer for him to say something before she explains.]

Well one's my actual boyfriend, he's called Eridan and he's a troll wizard. And the other is Sollux! We're going out but in a troll-y pale way, so there's no smooching or groping or anything like that going on.

Well you certainly raise a fine point with that question! I can't imagine there's a man alive who wouldn't want the chance to win your affections.

[ But oh... OH! The explanation does make a lot more sense now. Roxy never struck him as the particularly polyamorous sort. Well... sort of makes sense, his knowledge of trolls isn't as vast as Roxy or Dirk's by any stretch of the imagination, but he thinks he gets the general gist here.

Now if only he was from a little further along on the timeline those names might actually mean something to him. ]

Sounds like you've still got your hands full with with troll relationships. How did you manage this particular set of entanglements?

I've been here for months Jake. [She actually pauses, sighing a little after saying that. She'd been pretty lonely for a long time.]

You weren't here, there's been no sign of Jake or Dirk either. And since I knew about trolls, I somehow just.. ended up getting involved with them? Actually I think I can say all my best friends right now are trolls. Aside from you, of course! You've swooped in to take the BFF spot!

And well, Eridan's been teaching me magic! He's a troll wizard, it's sooooo cool even though he keeps denying it. And Sollux is the pale buddy, we get on pretty well. He's almost as good at hacking than I am! Almost, but not quite!

[ Jake actually reaches up to wipe his brow like he's getting rid of some imaginary sweat that was there and lets out a very cartoony "Whew!" as he does so. ]

And here I was worried I'd been replaced in my absence! I'm glad to know the spot is still sitting cozy for me and the other two whenever they decide to show their faces around these parts.

[ If they do, but Jake would much rather talk about it in terms of definite. If he acts like they're going to show up here someday then surely the day will come that Jane and Dirk join Roxy and Jake in their battle against futuristic tyranny. ]

But boy that does sound pretty great. I'm glad you've fallen in with a good crowd of people here, Roxy.

Are you kidding? Nobody would take up my best three bestie spots. The other two are still sat there waiting til Dirk and Janey make it here.

But.. [Moving closer, she rests her hands on Jake's shoulder, supporting her chin on them and grinning.]

As much as they're great and I totes love them, we are officially down two tight-asses when it comes to letting lose and just adventuring which means we can do all sorts of stuff and I get to be your sexy sidekick!

[ It only takes half a second to understand what Roxy is suggesting here, and while he thinks adventures might not be the same without the full gang he sure as hell doesn't mind the idea of him and Roxy setting out to get their own adventure on while they wait!

It sounds exciting! ]

Then there's not much time to waste! I've just put a good deal of adventureless years behind me, and you and me have a lot of lost time to make up for!

[ A pause though. ]

Wait! First we should think up names for ourselves. I mean like adventure names to go by! All adventurer heroes need a title to go by, and of course their sexy sidekicks have one as well.

[Oh fuck yes, if they're gonna do this they have to go all-in, hot nicknames and snazzy outfits are a must.]

Damn.. okay, we gotta think up something good for us to go by. And we have to be dressed proper too! I have this super swanky dress I wore to a ball, you know like a Bond girl sort of awesome dress. Not that we're gonna be investigating crooks in casino's but I can pretend, right?

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