knightofcourage: Looking at the sunset. (Neutral - resolution)
Emil Castagnier ([personal profile] knightofcourage) wrote in [community profile] exsiliumlogs2013-07-11 08:24 pm

[Closed]

Date & Time: July 11th, afternoon
Location: Unit 103
Characters: Emil Castagnier, Aster
Summary: Face twin meets face stealer, awkwardness ensues.
Warnings: Mention of murder and excess of blond teenage boys.


[Nearly a week of hiding out at Kaneis's place, and Emil still hasn't figured out a good time to do anything. He's been watching Aster through the tablet, trying to figure out what he knows - and it's not much, from what he's seen Aster say. It's not as though Emil deserves better, but the fact that Aster doesn't seem to remember anything about their meeting in the Ginnungagap makes everything even worse.

How could you tell anyone you'd killed them without a thought? Let alone taking their form for your own purposes? In all this time spent rarely straying from the room (impromptu hat adventures aside) he's thought of a thousand things he could say to Aster, but not a single one that Emil could go out and say right now without ruining everything for Aster - Aster, who Richter cared so much for and who seems like such a good person now that Emil has seen more of him. Everything he's seen says that Aster deserves far more than he got; Emil deserves the exact opposite. He can't just destroy all that...or so Emil tells himself.

And so five and a half days of thinking himself in circles later, Emil's sitting around in Kaneis's room when he hears a knock at the door. He's a little bit curious, but figuring that the caller must be a friend of one of the (permanent) occupants here he elects to stay where he is. Less awkward questions that way, right?]

ainsophaured: kannin (pic#6395869)

[personal profile] ainsophaured 2013-07-12 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
[Honestly, things had turned out better than Aster expected when it came to finding Emil. It had taken a few conversations with the right people to lead him to this room. Though now that he's here, he finds his nerves are starting to sneak up on him. Even walking into Ratatosk's chamber hadn't made him this anxious. Maybe because at that point he had no reason to believe something would go wrong. Had something gone wrong? It was too bizarre to take as a coincidence and it had bugged Aster from the moment he saw Emil's face.

So now here he is finally at the door, telling himself to just have courage. It's never steered him wrong before. A couple knocks and he'll finally be face to face with Emil.

...Or not.

There's no way Emil could have known he was stopping by yet, right? Aster stands on his toes, attempting to reverse peekhole into the apartment, but that doesn't quite work.
]

Hm...

[Alright Aster, have some courage! Also room 103? Have a lot of knocking.]
ainsophaured: apple_gel (pic#6395858)

[personal profile] ainsophaured 2013-07-12 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
[So Kaneis had known Emil after all? While that sits in the back of his mind, Aster has to concentrate on what's happening right now. After thanking Sophie for her help, he finds his way over to the room. There's no where else for Emil to go now, so Aster doesn't need to worry about him running away.

He takes a deep breathe to relax and without hesitation, knocks quietly on the door. There had been a smile on his face, one he was trying to keep on, but it was forced and disappeared before the second knock even ended. Aster's tempted to call Emil's name, but stops himself. All he wanted was the chance to talk to him. Would he open the door if he knew it was him out here?

So for that reason, he stays quiet and simply waits.
]
ainsophaured: apple_gel (pic#6395857)

[personal profile] ainsophaured 2013-07-13 06:52 am (UTC)(link)
[While Aster had fully prepared himself for this moment, or so he thought, surprise is the first thing to register on his face. It was one thing seeing a picture and another to have that person standing right in front of you. Even Aster has trouble finding something to say, especially in response to that. Not even just the word that was spoken, but the voice behind it.

The door hasn't been shut in his face yet. To Aster, that means the lines of communication are very open and he plans on taking full advantage of it. In an attempt to ease the tense situation, he tries to smile again and it's not as half hearted as before. Maybe because he's actually, on some small level, happy to be face to face with Emil. To finally talk to him and hopefully get some answers.
]

It's been difficult to get ahold of you.

[So he thought he'd stop by.]

...Can we talk, Emil?
ainsophaured: (pic#6418589)

[personal profile] ainsophaured 2013-07-14 05:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Again, he's surprised. After the way Emil seemed to be avoiding him, this is going well. As well as this could go. He does notice that avoidance, but Aster can't blame him. It's unnerving to be face to face like this. Despite that, Aster can't take his eyes off him. Even when he slips into the room, he continues to face Emil while he shuts the door behind him.

Deciding the best option is to give him some space, he leans back against the door itself to avoid getting too close. It's not as though Aster's worried about Emil leaving anymore. If he had wanted too, it would have happened already. It's been happening for nearly five days now. All that's stopping him is a skinny little researcher in front of a door.

After a few moments pass, Aster offers another smile and says:
]

I'm afraid this is a first for me. There were many things I wanted to ask you however...

[The weirdness of the situation has silenced even him, for a short time anyways. There's a pause and he presses a hand to his chin.]

Maybe I should have wrote them down after all.

[This is a good way to start a conversation with your secret face twin, right? Right.

And this is the most awkward thing ever, right?

Right.
]
Edited (ICONS) 2013-07-14 05:08 (UTC)
ainsophaured: (pic#6442806)

[personal profile] ainsophaured 2013-07-15 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
Alright, thank you.

[Again, Emil surprises him and Aster can't help to feel for him. While he's having the same issues mentally, his reaction is to stare at Emil as though it will help him decipher was happening by himself. The only familiarity here is the way he looks and sounds, for obvious reasons. His attire and manner don't ring any bells.

What he does know, is that Emil has something to say and knows the answers to questions that have desperately nagged Aster ever since he first started looking into this strange kid. The atmosphere is tense and it worries him, but the time to lighten the mood wasn't now. It wouldn't help anything now.

Nothing has shook him up this much before.
]

Then if you don't mind, I'd like to know...who are you, exactly?

[Emil Castagnier, Aster knows this much, but there has to be something beyond that. It seems like a simple question, and maybe it is, but in this room it's important. A room of two people who look exactly alike, probably down to every strand of hair. he was taught to always start at the beginning because it's the basis for everything to come and he'll follow it even now.]
ainsophaured: (pic#6469166)

[personal profile] ainsophaured 2013-07-15 06:38 am (UTC)(link)
Ratatosk?

[That first answer had been shocking. Not because it was impossible, it was quite possible, since the summon spirits had such an ability. No, what's surprising is that the form was his. Why had Ratatosk done that? And why hadn't he said that before? What was the point of taking up a persona?

That's when it starts to nag at him again. The initial meeting with Ratatosk. He sounds different this time, is acting different and-

and your death

For a moment, he can't discern between what he was thinking and what was said out loud. It's only Emil-Ratatosk's-body language that cues him off and after a few seconds of silence, he says:
]

My...death?

[The words come out quietly. Aster had been slouching up until this point. Now his body straightens considerably and he finally, for the first time since his arrival, looks away from Emil to the ground. He needs a second. What did that mean? How could he be dead?

It had to be a mistake.

He wishes he could voice that thought, but this is Ratatosk. This is a summon spirit. A spirit that managed to take his form. How could he be mistaken about something like that?
]

What are you saying? What happened?

[When Aster turns to look back at him, his voice is steady, but his expression gives way to how he's really feeling. Confused. Upset. Things he rarely felt through most of his life. There's no anger, but he obviously wants more answers. Aster may have been nagged with bad feelings about this meeting, but he never thought this would happen.]
ainsophaured: (pic#6442802)

[personal profile] ainsophaured 2013-07-16 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[Of all times, it was when they had finally found Ratatosk and were so close to helping their planet? Aster knew the spirit was angry, but clearly he had underestimated how far that fury went. His mind is reeling. Honestly, Aster doesn't know what to say right now. He's face to face with the person, the spirit, that killed him. The same spirit that's using his body.

The one that just apologized for what he did.

Aster doesn't say anything at first, only shuts his eyes and presses his hand to his forehead. The conversation went many ways in his mind, but he never expected this. However, this is what he wanted. He came here to learn the truth about what happened, and despite how hard it was to accept it, this was it.

He takes another deep breath and stands up, facing Ratatosk.
]

...For all my research and everything I claimed to know about you, I should have known you would be unwilling to accept our proposal then. We barged into your home with demands.

[There's a note Aster can't help to focus on. I've changed my mind. Their goal, the ultimate purpose of that visit, was to get Ratatosk to help their planet. It had gone poorly, but if he is willing to save their world, to give up on harming the people he loved so much, then Aster can't help but feel something was accomplished from that visit. ]

It's not entirely your fault.

[Now he's the one looking down, eyes shut again.]

I was so eager to...do something. Anything. I never thought about all the lives I would put at risk in the process.

[Things may have changed now, but what if they hadn't? Then Aster's one blunder could have plunged the world into complete chaos. The world he wanted to fix would have been destroyed in a moment and his friends would have suffered greatly for that mistake. At that thought, Aster opens his eyes and says quickly:]

W-Wait. What about Richter? Don't tell me he...

[he died too]
ainsophaured: apple_gel (pic#6395863)

[personal profile] ainsophaured 2013-07-17 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
Richter...as long as he's alive.

[While Aster had feared the worst, what actually occurred wasn't much better. Niflheim? How did it go from attacking Ratatosk to joining up with him? It doesn't take a genius to figure some things were left out. 'A lot of other things' indeed.

In a bizarre way, Aster can believe Richter took it upon himself to help prevent demons. He had always been a kind person and helping to protect the world seemed up his ally, though that in particular is the last place he ever expected him to be or wanted him to be. It was too dangerous.

He can tell his best friend had been through a lot, and Aster was there for none of it. Would be there for none of it.
]

...When you get back-

[That almost hurts to say. You. Because Aster knows if they leave this place, he won't be going along.]

-will you continue to watch over him, even after the demons are dealt with? He gets grumpy when he's left alone for too long.

[Aster's voice is somber by now, even though it's obvious he's trying pretty hard to sound happier. It's just how he deals with things though it has none of the light, joking tone he tried to force earlier. The information so far has been troubling at best and draining at worst, but he has courage. He can keep going.

He has to know if anything went right during all this.
]
ainsophaured: apple_gel (pic#6395859)

[personal profile] ainsophaured 2013-07-17 04:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you.

[Hearing Ratatosk apologize is surreal. Even if it doesn't change anything about what happened, Aster still appreciates it. That he felt bad about it and that he would take care of Richter. It's good to know he would have a friend out there.

Even though it's over his own death, Aster's never been the type to hold grudges. It was a mistake. They happen. It's obvious Ratatosk felt bad about it now and Aster's going to have to accept what happened, everything, for what it is. After a brief moment, he takes a seat next to Emil. There's some space between them, but not nearly as much as before.
]

No, it's not what I hoped occurred after that day. I truly thought we would be able to change your mind and that the mana imbalance would be taken care of.

[A brief pause.]

However you did tell me the truth and I appreciate it. The whole purpose of coming here was to find out so I suppose you did tell me what I wanted to hear, in a way.

[Trying to sound happy is pretty difficult in this situation, but at least he's giving it his A+ effort.]

...It's okay, Ratatosk. I'm not angry.

[Depressed and frustrated yeah, but the only anger he has is directed to himself right now. If only he had paid more attention or taken more precaution, this might not have happened.]

Were you able to fix our world?
ainsophaured: (pic#6418589)

[personal profile] ainsophaured 2013-07-18 06:59 am (UTC)(link)
[For the first time since the beginning of this whole ordeal, Aster has the inkling of a smile on his face. It's small, but it's there. He may not know the details leading up to it, but the mana crisis is solved. The world's climate will go back to normal.

If only one thing went right during all this, Aster can only be glad it was that. He notes Ratatosk looking away again, but doesn't comment out loud on it, instead moving slightly away in case that was the issue.
]

I'm relieved. It hasn't left my mind since arriving here. The last thing I remember is conversing with you and...

[It wasn't going well.]

The world will survive now. It should ease tensions among the people too.

[Aster seems more relaxed at the news since he doesn't know things had escalated to such extremes between the people yet. It was a great burden in his mind. Finding out he was dead and Richter was guarding Niflheim was draining, but at least he could take solace in the fact the world would continue and survive. ]
ainsophaured: kannin (pic#6395872)

[personal profile] ainsophaured 2013-07-19 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
[The weather wasn't the main cause, but the sudden change didn't help matters. During his time, Aster had only seen beginning of the discrimination. As bad as it was, he truly thought that could help people relax and be pushed in the right direction as far as working together.]

I'm glad you think that too. It's been hard for them, but I know the people of the two worlds, whether they're human or half elf, will come together and work with each other to make a peaceful world. They will learn from their past mistakes.

[His tone is growing quiet and thoughtful again. The main questions were out of the way, despite his growing curiosity for what happened during all those middle years, but he'll get Ratatosk to tell him one way or another.
]

I have one more question to ask you.

[Another brief pause. Now, it's time for the very first question that ever entered his mind. It's simple enough to ask, but difficult at the same time.]

The form you have taken...why is it mine?
Edited (ICONS I GIVE UP) 2013-07-19 04:45 (UTC)
ainsophaured: (pic#6418605)

[personal profile] ainsophaured 2013-07-20 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
[Aster listens to the explanation quietly and even when it's all over, he continues to stay silent for a short time after. That confirmed some of the initial suspicions he had, but the reason was so simple. He was the last person Ratatosk saw and Emil Castagnier was only an alias.

Aster isn't angry over it. He's stuck in his own thoughts. It's not a matter of should Ratatosk have done it or not. There was no choice, from Aster's perspective. Remaining as a core wouldn't have been an option for him. While he would have preferred Ratatosk use someone else's body since he was dead, he can't help to think how interesting it would have been if he were still alive. A summon spirit taking on the form of an actual human.
]

...I understand. It must have been difficult for you. How were you able to get your memory back?

[He truly does understand why it's like this, even if it doesn't make the situation any less awkward. This was a lot to grasp, even for him. He leans forward, placing an elbow on his knee and resting his head in his hand. While it may not truly be his fault, Aster thinks that's so and can't believe this all occurred due to his own negligence. Surely Richter had suffered through all this as well. Even Rilena, what happened to her? ]
ainsophaured: (pic#6507890)

[personal profile] ainsophaured 2013-07-22 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
[There are a few things not adding up and it troubles Aster more than he would like to admit. Between the scattered bits of information about his friend, learning of his own death and sitting next to his summon spirit look alike, the more sobering everything becomes. The more curiosity becomes genuine concern about what was happening.]

Richter did? Were you two together for long, before having to seal Niflheim?

[But in reality, he isn't surprised. Richter has been wrapped up in Emil's-Ratatosk's life-since the day they discovered he was still in the
world. It seemed like they had both been through a lot. It's hard to believe that just a few months after his time, all this occurred and then some.

And above all it's still difficult for him to imagine Richter having to guard that door now. All because of his reckless actions, demons almost ran amok.
]

I'm glad your memory returned in time and...I'm sorry. To the both of you.

[Ratatosk meet Aster. The guy who pretty much apologizes for his own death and the events that occurred after even though he had minimal involvement.]

This was never our intent. We knew there were risks in meeting you and trying to awaken the centurions, but opening the door to the demonic realm...that wasn't a possible outcome to me. I was careless.

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