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[initiates]

Date & Time: December 1st
Location: The Initiative Hold
Characters: Everyone!
Summary: New transports are probably way less pleased about their arrival than their designated greeter appears to be. What are we saying, probably.
Warnings: No, unless you hate joy and laughter.

You, dear Transport, are in for an extra special treat. This is not just any standard protocol information session, although you're still required to listen to the obligate spiel and choose your own adventure your fancy new equipment (or something more familiar, if you'd rather). Once 'the boring part' is over, an excitable blonde with a hairstyle out of a Dr. Seuss book begins ushering you down the halls. Although she glosses over the history of the place that you've found yourself in, she seems much more enthused about telling you that you've arrived in the best month of the year.

It's highly probable that Becky (for that is her name, really) was chosen for this particular batch of Transports not because of her blinding devotion to her informational duties, but to give the other workers in her division of the Hold a few moments of rest from her chipper voice. Any snark or sniping is brushed off easily enough by the bubbly woman as she leads you further into the Hold. She lets you know that although there are serious reasons for you to be here, you should try to include yourself in the local customs in order to foster a feeling of hominess and unity, as that sort of thing is very important...and keeps in close tradition with Non-Denominational Cheer Day, a holiday coming up quickly toward the end of the month. She even presents you with a pink, blue and silver bow made from surprisingly high-quality ribbon along with your netbook, coinpurse or card before she ushers you into the banquet room and encourages you to 'mix with your fellow man – or whatever they might be!'

She disappears with a twirl of bright blue skirt and you're left to your own devices in the banquet room. Perhaps in an effort to make up for the previous month's somewhat lack-luster party (who had time to plan a proper spread when parts of the building weren't even functioning?), the eight-person tables are dressed with various solid-coloured tablecloths overlaid with shimmery silver material. The entire room looks a little bit more 'frosty' than usual (fake snow was so 21st century) – the walls glitter with what looks to be some sort of spray-on ice crystals (they're probably plastic).

Winter beverages line one side of the banquet hall – hot toddies, cider, and hot chocolate with all of the proper fixings – while the other has no shortage of warming foods like stews and casseroles. There's no shortage of cookies for dipping, if that's your thing. Surely you'll be able to find something to eat, or at least someone to talk to...

Comments

[wilder]

[sdflkjsdkf Zelos is pulling his shoe away so it stops dripping blood on him]

Dude..!

I know this is a war, but did you seriously have to bring that in here?!

[gunsling]

[ That's probably for the best, because Jake doesn't really know what to do with the head. He does shift his hold on it so it's on the side away from Zelos at least. That should help so it doesn't start puddling by his shoes or anything. ]

War? Oh... oh no!! This isn't some sort of slain soldier I'm totting around as a trophy. This is my best friend!

[ ... Jake that doesn't make things sound better. ]

[wilder]

[What the hell, bro. What the hell. Sure, Zelos sorta died from friendly fire BUT HES PRETTY SURE THEY DIDN'T TOTE AROUND HIS HEAD]

[OR DID THEY]

Oh! That makes it so much better!

[gunsling]

[ He's feeling a little judged right now, and considering the rough time he's had lately he could do with a little less judgement thank you, Zelos!! ]

It's not like I really wanted to take it! It just showed up on my island one day, and his stupid Auto-Responder started heckling me about it, and I just happened to be holding the damn thing when I was whisked away to another world! ... And again when I was whisked away to a second one!

[wilder]

Uh...huh.

You realize how little sense that all made, right?

[gunsling]

[ He's trying really hard here. ]

I suppose you do need to know the Auto-Responder-- Hal? whatever the hell it is he wants to call himself, first before any of this story makes a lick of sense.

[ Hold a tick... sudden inspiration strikes and Jake ganks the weirdly pointy sunglasses off of the severed head and holds them out to Zelos. ]

Here! He should be able to spin the yarn himself in a much more coherent way. Not that you should necessarily believe anything that comes out of his metaphorical mouth. He's not exactly the most reliable of narrators.

[wilder]

[.....]

[He'll stare for a moment, because dude you just offered him sunglasses that you yanked off your best friend's severed head. Buuut you know today has been weird enough so sure. why not]

Alright...

[And he'll take the sunglasses tentatively and put them on]

[gunsling]

[ It seemed like a good idea to Jake. He figured the AR would start up with it's usual sass, and if nothing else Zelos could see for himself the shitty AI and how it could have caused problems for Jake in the recent past.

Unfortunately, however, while the glasses traveled with the head, the computer program inside did not, and while the glasses might display a pretty nifty computer screen, there is no explanatory text at all.

Jake leans forward expectingly, waiting for Zelos to assure him he understands the entire situation now. ]

Well...?

[wilder]

[He frowns. He can tell there is definitely something weird about the glasses, but there's nothing going on.]

All I see is some screen like the tablet. No...Hal or whatever.

[Also he probably looks downright ridiculous in these]

[gunsling]

[ Jake thinks they look pretty slick on them, but he can't recommend Zelos keep the shades. Dirk probably wouldn't be happy if he ever showed up here proper and found out Jake had just bee handed out his accessories to random strangers. ]

What? He's probably being some cagey asshole and hiding from you to rattle me some more. That sounds like exactly the kind of thing he'd do.

[ He shifts his grip on the head so he's got it tucked firmly under one arm and holds the other out towards Zelos. ]

Give them here, I'll coax him out of hiding. If there's one thing that asshole can't resist it's kicking me when I'm already down.

[wilder]

Sure...that could be it.

[Or you're nuts, whatever. But he'll hand them over...because honestly this is just getting entertaining]

[gunsling]

[ He swears he's not crazy! Which is what a crazy person might swear, but he still swears it!

Jake snatches the glasses out of Zelos' hand and shoves them on his own face right overtop of his own glasses. ]

Lil Hal?

[ There's a few seconds of silence. ]

Come on you computerized douchecoding now's not the time to get quiet on me.

[ Another few seconds. ]

So after all this time you're going to get quiet on me now that I actually need you to talk to me. Of course. How bloody convenient!!!

[ Yes, he's really yelling at the pair of sunglasses on his face right now. So... that whole thing about Jake being nuts is probably looking pretty accurate right now, huh? ]

[wilder]

[Little bit. Zelos is really kinda hoping right now that you're not his roommate.]

Maybe he didn't come along?

[Not that he has a clue how ANY Of this works, but hey, why not]

[gunsling]

[ Well he's in luck for that much at least, if nothing else at the moment. Jake reaches up to tug the glasses off his face and looks vaguely alarmed at the question. ]

Impossible! He's right here in my hand!

[wilder]

[Dude let's not talk about the things in your hands right now considering what's in the other one....]

Hey, I'm just suggesting. From what I've seen? This place already muddles with what's possible.

[gunsling]

[ Okay, well yeah that's also true. But the point remains!

He lets out an exasperated sigh. ]

So you're telling me I might very well be stuck here without so much as an obnoxious pair of sunglasses as much eternally frustrating guide?

[ For the first time in his life Jake is experiencing a strange feeling. He's... actually... upset not to have the AR to talk to? No what is this... this is uncomfortable, he doesn't want this. This is the guy that tormented him with passive aggressive shenanigans and faking being his best. The robotic asshole that made him kiss a severed head in front of several of Jake's friends leading to an embarrassing moment where Jake had to explain himself, and--

Oh whoo! Good, that feeling of actually missing him is well past now. Fuck that guy, he's awful. ]

[wilder]

...Yeah. It sounds something like that, doesn't it?

[He's just hoping this guy doesn't flip out on him since yeah, still not convinced he's not a psycho killer]

[gunsling]

[ Well the good news is he won't! The bad news is that nothing he is going to say or do will comfort Zelos or make him really feel like Jake won't probably.

At least right now he's just looking mildly irritated at the glasses. ]

Good riddance to bad rubbish anyway!

[ For a second he looks like he's about to chuck the glasses into the crowd, but thinks better of it and just slides them back onto the severed head after all. ]

[wilder]

[......................]

[Yep, The first day of the rest of my new life is really starting off on a creepy foot.]

Uh...maybe you should do something to take care of that...head.

[gunsling]

What?

[ Oh right. Yeah... ]

I'm going to bury it when I get the chance. I just have to get out there and pick out a decent location. It's the least I can do for my best buddy, even if he is a raging jerk sometimes.

[wilder]

Right.

You should probably..start doing that, you know, before he stains the entire floor.

[gunsling]

I guess it is time to get a skedaddle right on out of here. Though...

[ He looks over at the table with all the food and sighs. ]

It's been a long day. I'm sure no one will mind if I cover it up and have a bite to eat first.

[ Yes, Jake. People will mind. Also another point to the creepy factor. He can be covered in blood holding a dead head, and still has an appetite. ]

[wilder]

Dude. You're holding your best friend's bleeding severed head, and you want to eat?

[gunsling]

[ Yeah, okay even Jake realizes that doesn't sound great. ]

I haven't had a properly cooked meal in weeks!

[wilder]

So!?