exsiliumlogs | (no subject) (part 2)

I'm sure you'd do alright without it, but it's something I'm able to do to other people's weapons.

[And because she knows when people only see what they want to see, especially when it means they won't give Anthy a closer look, she's not afraid. There are even things she could do to enhance Asuka's point of view, intimate details that she'll automatically absorb if Asuka ever chooses to crawl inside the belly of the beast.

She has to stick her hand in first, though. Anthy glances down and touches her own chest, delicately looking for the right spot. The spot where the hole is. Everything about her seems delicate, her voice as soothing as the air is hot.] You see, I don't have one of my own. Instead my body makes them stronger. You can put weapons inside me and they come out stronger.

Sounds odd, doesn't it? [She looks back up and it's almost as if she's smiling from very far away.] But it's true.

Edited 2013-01-16 23:35 (UTC)

I don't know, I've met a glowing alien vampire...

[Something flickers across Asuka's expression as Anthy starts to explain. There's something at the back of her head screaming at her to step away, because this isn't normal - the way Anthy's voice shifts just slightly, the way she moves, the way she looks at Asuka, are all a bit off in some indescribable way. She's reminded of Ayanami - just a little. But Ayanami never managed to sound... compelling and disgusting and somehow loving all at the same time. It's twisted, but she's oddly fascinated by it. Almost as if she were watching a trainwreck in slow motion.]

You... what?

[That just confuses her. She's seen magic here, even if she still scoffs at it. That just sounds strange.]

So you just let people stab you or something?

[She should back away. She really should.]

[Was that the same glowing alien that was Anthy's other roommate? The chuckle that escapes from her at Asuka's blatant confusion is light and abashed, like she realizes too late that she told something personal about herself to someone she just met.

It's a strange reveal, even in this time-traveling world. She has to be careful with it.] That's one way to look at it, hm? It doesn't hurt me. They disappear into here. [And she taps at the center of her chest with two fingers, gesturing to the right place just once before her hands disappear behind her back. Anthy manages to appear shy, her eyes lidding when she looks away like she's unsure about how Asuka will continue to react.]

And they stay there until the owner takes them out again. It's a little different than it was in my world, but it's the same idea.

[Asuka's feeling less sure about the situation by the second. Anthy seems - well, she seems demure, unassuming. Shy, almost. At the same time, Asuka can't help but feel that she's missing something and that it's rather important. But she's Asuka Langley Soryu - why should she back down from anything? Despite the uneasiness that still tugs at her, she furrows her brow, still trying to fully grasp the concept.]

How... does that work? It's some sort of magic, right?

[It really is oddly fascinating. She shifts her weight, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the subject, but not willing to let that show up in her words or actions. Which doesn't stop her from running a hand through her hair in an unconscious tic.]

What does it actually do to the weapon?

I'm not entirely sure how it works myself. It seems to wake the weapon up and maximize its true potential, if I had to put it in words. There's a type of power in my body that transfers over to the outside and gives the weapon and the user some sort of boost in strength and skill.

[In the end, her explanation isn't stilted or embarrassed in the least. There's something dead in her voice, heavy with the weight of the Rose Bride's shackles, but it buzzes underneath a soft and timid surface. Like a leviathan swimming far below a still lake. Anthy can sense Asuka's discomfort, but she can also tell that the other girl is intrigued.

Shifting her gaze to her feet first, she blinks up and chances reading Asuka's expression with direct eye contact.]

Does that make sense?

[Reading others has never exactly been her strong suit, especially since Asuka tends to wear her heart on her sleeve more often than not, no matter how much she tries to pretend that she's indifferent and aloof. But there's still something tugging at Asuka's thoughts, something instinctual telling her to run away from this as far and as fast as she can. But the idea of being able to become better, faster - that appeals to her and to the idea that she needs to be better or she's worthless. If she's not the best, she's nothing.

She's trying to move past that, but it's still deeply ingrained in her psyche. She shifts, hands and fingers flexing as she thinks. When Anthy makes eye contact, her gaze slides away, then back as if she's guilty of something. Perhaps it's because she's not sure that she ought to even be considering this.]

Well, yeah. Kind of.

[Asuka frowns, still wavering.]

So, I'd just... put a spear in you and it'd help me? And you're just offering this to me?

[Do it. Do it or you're resigned to being worthless.]

[Truth be told, Asuka is fascinating, rough edges and all. It's not that Anthy wants to see her fall, but more of an intellectual curiosity about finding out what has put her so close to the edge. And there's the practical slant: the more she knows about her co-transports, the less likely she is to become susceptible to them at some point.

But really, it's more about Asuka. Only the crippled and the powerless are drawn to the Rose Bride in any way whatsoever; that she hasn't left yet speaks volumes. What makes her take a second look? Anthy maintains steady eye contact now, despite the indecision exuding off of Asuka.

They either come or they don't.]

Well, it's up to you. It's more about what you want. [Soft and steady.] On my own, I can't do much. I think this must be my purpose here, to help stronger people.

And you seem very strong to me, Asuka-san.

[Asuka might fall under the definition of "crippled", considering where she is in life and what she's done. She stays because it's a slim hope that she can keep going through the motions she's gone through all her life and stave off having to take a long, hard look at herself and how she intends to deal with herself now that she has nothing left. She stays because using someone to become stronger isn't the same as accepting help (at least that's what she tells herself). She stays because she's terrified of what happens to her next and this is lifeline to something familiar - being the best, being the strongest and having everyone love you for it.

Even though she knows that she shouldn't. Anthy's wordsmake her eyes widen slightly and those words - "you seem very strong" - they're a life, a horrible, wonderful lie that feeds into what Asuka wants to be. They hook her, because if she's strong, she won't need others. She won't have to leave herself open and exposed. If she's strong, she can be on her own again.]

Of course I am!

[There's a note of her old confidence back in her voice.]

It might be worth trying... just to see if it really helps.

[She smiles gently. Whatever she doesn't know, she's soon to find out.]

Alright, then. We can try it during one of the training sessions back at the Hold.

I normally only use this with another friend of mine, so I think it will be good for me to learn how to use it with other people, too.

Edited 2013-01-19 17:22 (UTC)

Alright... sounds good!

[She's still wavering. But she tries to sound confident.]

Who's your friend?

Ah, her name is Tenjou Utena. Do you know her?

[It's a question she already knows the answer to, but she's curious about Asuka's reaction to it.]